I don't say this solely because I'm a Wizards fan, but I think the WIzards are in a position to take anywhere between the 5th and 3rd seed in the East. Cleveland started off shaky, but they'll pull it together and string together some victories for sure, while Boston is looking quite nasty. Detroit is probably going to just miss or just make the playoffs, depending upon key games down the stretch. Orlando will probably start of well, but Carter is key--if he doesn't play every night, Orlando will begin to miss Turkoglu. I'm thinking it'll be Boston versus Cleveland in the Eastern Conference finals, provided they knock off Washington, which logic says should happen, but Washington did win 3 of 4 when Boston had their last successful title run.

The Spurs look sound, but what's new. They have proven veterans, and hungry up-and-comers, but if Duncan doesn't stay healthy, it's a negative for a deep run in the playoffs. I'm liking Denver and LA in the Western conference finals, as Seattle is whack, the Hornets will be marginal at best, and Dallas is incapable of sealing the big wins when it counts--in the playoffs. Phoenixis on life support, and I can't really think of anybody save Portland that may make a run at the crown, but I don't know if they have the moxy to to knock of Denver and definitely not seeing LA falling off unless injury besets them (which is possible).

So OK, the new NBA season is finally upon us, and we’re all happy to have something to get us off of football (for those, who like me are loyal to sub par football franchises). But I have a bone to pick, and this is something I really have had an issue with for some time. I don’t like how the NBA arbitrarily anoints 5 players in the league each year, and special favor, accolades and opportunity rain down upon them like confetti in a ticker tape parade (did that even make sense?). Let’s review, the first two are shoe-ins each year, and that’s Kobe and Lebron.

For now, Kobe is the league, love him or hate him, the dude is the best single player in the game and is incredible to watch. Not only that, he’s more polarizing than Jordan ever was, which makes him even more of a hot topic. Lebron is the heir apparent, and the league is so thirsty to give him Kobe’s spot, but Kobe ain’t having that any time soon. Kobe has at least 5 more years of good ball left in him if he avoids major injury, which would make him a 19 year vet…scary.

Dwayne Wade is probably number three on the list, with his clean cut demeanor and hard nose play. The guy is quick on top of fast on top of quick. Oh yeah, he’s fast. From there, there’s a mad dash to see who’s going to make the final two slots—Chris Paul could make it, but the Hornets are probably going to be average this year, and, let’s face it, we have a clean cut hard nose player in Wade. Why would we wanna double-up there?

Dwight Howard looks like a good bet, but as super as he is, I think the league wants something more super from him before he’s knighted this season. Shaq, Duncan and Garnett are good stories if they can take their respective teams to the next level, but they're also getting older, which means old news. Vince Carter had his shot as half man half amazing, but he only plays hard for 20-30 games out of the season, and (on another note) unfortunately for him, Richard Jefferson doesn’t seem to have enough personality to be bankable. Iverson is, well, Iverson, as Rasheed Wallace is, well, Rasheed Wallace. To Wallace’s credit, he’s been a great person to have on a team and really has been a lot better as the years have gone by with his temper, but his youthful indiscretions will never be forgotten…nor will they be forgiven.

Nash and Nowitski were the great white hope for a second, the revival of Pistol Pete and Bird, but no rings came a-calling either collectively or individually. Dallas has been good for a long time, but hey, Nowitski is their best player, and he’s also soft. That, and he’s a weak defender in my opinion. How he got 1st Team All-Defense last year is a mystery to me. Great shooter, fast, and nimble…but, the moment Kenyon Martin straps him up…nothing. You put an elbow in his ribs when he’s shooting during post-season, when they actually let you be more physical, and his game isn’t nearly as effective. Nash is nice, but he’s not an (consistent) outside threat, and bets are that Stoudimire won’t be healthy all season to catch those above the rim passes for the easy dunk.

Bosh plays for the Raptors, so, yeah, that’s not going to happen. McGrady, a great player, has been hounded with knee and back problems, Yao could very well be done…and the league still won’t show Carmello any love. As a side note, Carmello was robbed for rookie of the year honors—at a minimum, he should have gotten co-MVP honors with Lebron, seeing as though he was statistically better, if only by fractions in most categories. They did it with Kidd and Hill, but, seeing as though Lebron was the heir apparent before he touched the court as a pro, and he had about $200 million in endorsements before his first tip-off, that wasn’t going to happen.

So, who’s it going to be? Who will be anointed this year, meaning you can’t foul them, or breathe on them without risking the wrath of Stern and his cronies? Tony Parker, or Beasley, maybe? Will Gilbert Arenas become the come back story of the year the league so loves to run with? I do’t know. But I do know that this preferential treatment, this idolatry on the court has to be handled. Let’s save all of the worship for the ticket holders and fans, and let the boys be boys on the court.

*Don't get me wrong though, I'm excited about this season, and the off-season which will bring about all the free agent drama you can stand! Let's go Wizards!!!

The following is a short story that was designed to help me kick start my creative writing a bit more. The idea was given to me by a fellow writer and friend, to write a short story of 300 words. Now, I went a bit over by 14, but it felt good to just write. Not try to steer anything, or dig to shape the ideas in my mind. So, I figured I would share with you (or me I guess, since this is my journal).

He always liked his drink a bit much. Too much I think. In times of hardship, the few friends he may have managed to attain were no match for a bottle of Jack Daniels and his utter self-contempt. Embittered, he’d curse them for leaving after cursing them for not giving him space. His excoriations would taste like menthol and madness, and sounded like the ranting of the possessed at the height of being exorcised. Nostrils would flare like the snout of an enraged dragon, as a slow mass of cancerous smoke spiraled out of his body in thin grey wisps. Teeth stained with a dingy yellow by nicotine, hard living and regret, he gave off a constant look of disdain and consternation, even in moments of happiness. Despite all of this, he gave in the most fundamental ways to the few he loved. The children he raised may have had little to do with him in his waning years, but the grandchildren got all that was good in him. They were his moments of love and sobriety. Too proud to admit his failings as he a father, he was determined to find salvation in his love for them. He gave them a link to an older value system, one that was tried and true. He gave them happy hello’s and tearful goodbyes, as they seemed to take all that was holy with them upon departing. But most of all, he would give them hope. Upon his passing, he didn’t have much worth passing along—a few baseball cards, tarnished medals of valor, tucked away, neglected in an old oak case. He left behind his house, and a sense of peace that never seemed to settle there for long. And as his children looked at their children, they hoped that he had finally found his peace between the bottles of jack, and his menthol cigarettes.

I was thinking the other day how powerful words, and your use of them can be. What words become your second set of language, y'know? To clarify, many folks use a primary set of language, whether you speak another language, and use english to make it here, or you use "proper english" by day, and whatever the hell you feel outside of that. I'm kinda like that. See, my mother raised both my sister and me (peep how I didn't say I) to speak properly in the house. We addressed elders as Mr. and M(r)s or Sir and Ma'am. When I call somebody, I tend to say "may I please speak with ___________________", even though I know damn well who I'm calling.

However, unlike my sister--I have a gift for picking up on sound, so I can mimick other tongues, accents and dielects very well. My sister sounds proper even when she uses slang, bless her heart. I have been confused for being from NY, the west coast and down south at different points, not because I was trying to front, but because it's kind of natural for me to speak to people in the manner they speak to me. If you have a west coast accent, it's "dog what's poppin?", from Atlanta, it's "What up folk?". Not all the time, but it happens that way. Then, there's a third language--that language we have when we're comfortable.

My pops has told me for years not to use the term shut up, although I never saw the big deal with it, even as an adult. But, when I got irritated during a game, and told a friend to shut up, I realized what dad was saying. See, my friend knew I didn't mean anything by it. She knew that she was getting to me because I'm competitive and I like to succeed, and we were in the middle of a heated game of taboo. But, her mother, who has only heard me speak in my primary, sometimes my secondary tongue, probably had no clue.

Now, I am a respectful dude in most cases, sometimes I can be a bit beligerant (which I'm working on), but those cases are far more sparse than a few years ago. Thing is, her mother may have a completely different view of me, like I'm some nice guy when she's around, and some jack ass when she's not. True--much sillier, but the respect level don't change.

With that, I'm trying to make sure that those words don't just come out, especially in times of frustration. So, the n word and shut up are words to work on. Shut up I think I can do--the n word is a whole other conversation for another day.

Watch your words people--they are powerful, and once uttered, they can't be unsaid.

Peace.

Let’s see, my computer went down during the development of a freelance project. The irony is, this was the first freelance project (for pay) that I’ve taken on since buying my new Mac, which means this is the first opportunity it has an opportunity to pay me back (my creative side projects are on hold). The good thing is, that even in times where my computer is acting up, I’m able to press on and move forward. The end-result fix wound up being me archiving my hard drive and reinstalling the OS. In a PC world, I’d likely have had to erase everything. On my Mac, it meant that I could keep all of my files and settings. I did have to update the OS all over again, though. But, in the grand scheme of things, the actual fix took about an hour (including re-updating the OS and key apps), but getting to that point did take more than half a day. I’m just glad my computer is back up and running as it should. Ya boy was stressing for a sce--but just for a sec.

I also spent time with the baby bro and saw my pops for his birthday, my sister and her children a.k.a. two of my lovely nieces and my oldest nephew. Baby bro is really a good guy. I’m ha-ppy to see how he’s coming along. He still needs to do more of the basic things (be proactive in cooking, get more cardio in, etc.) but these are things he can work on/grow into. Character-wise, the guy is really coming around, and for that I’m so thankful. I think when he pulls everything together, he’s going to be a great catch for some fortunate young lady.

My reading has been stalled kinda w/ Anne Rice’s Queen of the Damned. It’s a good book, but I’m forcing myself to push through it, and have been for weeks. I only read it on the train, and not even all of the time with that. Mainly, it’s because I have a vampire story that I have had in my head (and on paper), and I don’t want to have another vampire concept competing with what’s already bubbling in my head. So far, not intersection, but still—I don’t wanna feel like there was some significant outside influence on my work. The Count of Monte Cristo was 681 pages, and I read that in far less time than this book which is 200 pages shorter. I would stop, but I put this book down years ago, and I don’t want to have to re-read everything, or do any refresher reading again.

Social life is looking really basic right now, but it’s perhaps for the best. Still putting things in perspective. At a stage I didn’t think I’d ever be where—lust just isn’t enough any more. Can’t get into a groove, or feel a spark off of just lust like a used to. Difference being, I’ve seen that it really is better to be into someone on more than just the physical level, so it’s kind of hard to back pedal. It’s gotta be on monster status for me to feel that way, and right now, that just ain’t happenin’.

So, that takes care of personal, creative, hobby/recreational, familial and professional. I think that’s a good recap. Oh, I so want to do some remodeling/home redecorating in my spot. Love to pull up the carpets and put down some wood flooring and put some new tile in the bathrooms. Change up the paint scheme, too. Reading all those Interior Design magazines has me feeling like I can do this, man! By the way, that is an awesome magazine, and I suggest subscribing if you ever have the extra duckets (under other when they ask how you heard about them, you can say leethepoet.com sent you—lol). But alas, all of this costs money and uh, yeah—that’s something I don’t have a lot of right now. Sonn come though, soon come.

PS - on a completely random note, while NBA 2K10 looks better (especially ion HD--good Jesus) and allows you to do more offensively (touch passes and off the backboard alley-oops), the lack of intelligent defense and the inability to really control your players movements on defense like last year have givemn me mixed feelings on the game. Also, the game made the Wizards (who I think are going to be a big (positive) surprise this season) look terrible. I'm going to need a dynamic update that allows my players to not be run down in the open court on a fast break, for real.

Right now, I am trying to sort through it all. Not like “it all” is some obscene amount to sort through, but it’s enough. I’ve been in a malaise as of late. One so—absolute, that it has been affecting every aspect of my life. I’m in spiritual/mental quicksand right now, and I’m trying to be calm and still amidst these swirling thoughts.

Am I happy with where my life is RIGHT NOW—no. Well, what can I do to get where I feel I need to be? What about relationships, are there some that are weighing you down, and some that you need to take extra steps to improve? Yes. Well, what do I need to do with each of these situations? What can I do a regular basis to better ensure I’m doing something tangibly creative? Well, I have at least one answer for that particular question. I have been writing at least one quick thought or anecdote each day for the past week and a half, maybe two weeks. The thought is that I have to push myself to be creative even when I don’t quite feel like it. So far, I’ve been sticking to it, and have written roughly 35 entries.

Also, on another note, I spoke to Lynn, who provided me with a great perspective on my creative lapse. In a nutshell, she has theorized that I have been cut off from a well of creativity by becoming disconnected with others who are in the habit of being creative. To that I say: good point. The reason I became disconnected, although valid, has created a side effect, much like the new drugs the FDA keeps dropping very other day. I was trying to avoid the drama of new beefs between once mutual friends, ego tripping, attention mongering, etc. But, I also lost a viable connection to what makes me who I am as a creator. Being around other creative people, independent of how I may feel about who they are as people, inspires me to create more. So now the question to that becomes: How do I get back around that element without compromising my peace of mind and avoid being fake (which I just don’t do…cordial and respectful, yes—fake, hell no)?

The other interesting thing about me is that the things I used to be able to do, I can still do, but not fully. For example, connecting with a woman with no prior or real intamcy, is a chore. I’m in my head, and not in the moment. I guess because at some point, whether I was in love or not, I learned how to do so with somebody I at least loved—so now not having that doesn’t feel the same. It has exposed an ugly truth which I never saw because I didn’t care to. I hate being single. I mean I abhor it. I’ll do it because I don’t want to be with just anybody, and I don’t feel I need to settle, but damn!, being single is some lonely shit to endure. Yeah, I can call some one up, I’m sure, but—at this point, who’s to say that won’t exacerbate the situation—that feeling:?

Lastly, I’ve noticed that I’m apparently more giving than even I have given myself credit for. I mean, folks apparently feel it’s cool to siphon off of me, be it perspective/advice, temporary company, whatever. I guess, that’s in my nature, and for me to correct. I can’t really fault people for taking if I’m giving—but the level of reciprocity is so skewed it becomes draining, taxing even. So, I’m halfway between dropping off of the grid totally, and forcing myself out there. I’m just not sure which is best, or if either is a healthy option. So, I’m trying to stand still amidst all of these swirling thoughs, and not drown in all of this quicksand.