The Oxford Effusing
I am inextricably befuddled by the skinny jeans phenomenon that has swept our urban landscape. It boggles the mind. Fitted jeans, while at times effeminate, can be worn by men or women. Skinny jeans are for women. They're meant to accentuate form. Yet dudes are intent on wearing skinny jeans, and often hanging off of their posterior, as if I'm interested in the brand and/or pattern of their undergarments. If one is predisposed to the predilection of wearing the aforementioned style of clothing while exposing their entire posterior, might I suggest a pair of thigh-high boots without the disturbingly tight jeans to interfere with the notion that you want the whole world to see your behind? It would be making much more of an original statement than the accepted predesignated method.

The Layman's Lament
Skinny jeans are suspect, and this shit has gone too far. Men aren't supposed to wear skinny jeans, because skinny jeans are designed for women, not men. Wearing clothes designed for women is cross-dressing in my book, I don't care if it's acceptable. That shit is not hip hop, and it damn sure ain't gangsta. Ya'll look like Riley Esco with the wrap-skirts right about now. Real talk, why not just wear some chaps with the ass out (a la T.A.F.K.A.P (Prince...geniuses)), or put on some thigh high boots with a pair of Vickies? I can understand wearing jeans low on the waist, but why wear pants if I can see your entire undergarments? Pants are supposed to go over your underwear. That's the concept. Yeah man, work that out...