Just to clear thing up...the entry on Monday, July 18th, 2005, although it's written like a poem (I guess), IS actually based on what happened last Saturday. True story, no hype. Thinking about it still bothers me...but, I wrote it like that because that's how it plays in my head so to speak. I didn't convey all the details, mainly because I just wanted to convey the essence of what went down.
On a positive note...
MY SISTER IS IN LABOR!!!
This will be her 3rd child, and make niece number five! Wow, Shane & kalil are severely outnumbered...

Was listening to my iTunes last night when Impossible by Wu came on. I forgot how dope Ghostface is, man. I mean, half the shit he says goes over my head, but then again, he and Rae even said they don't know what they be sayin' sometimes. But, aside from the stle of his delivery, Ghost emotes so well over a track, can even cry on a track without sounding whiny, unlike my man Freeway (who does rock, just not like Ghost); Here's the verse I was talkin' about:
"Call an ambulance, Jamie been shot, word to Kemit
Don't go Son, nigga you my motherfuckin heart
Stay still Son, don't move, just think about Keeba
She'll be three in January, your young God needs you
The ambulance is taking too long
Everybody get the fuck back, excuse me bitch, gimme your jack
One, seven one eight, nine one one, low battery, damn
Blood comin out his mouth, he bleedin badly
Nahhh Jamie, don't start that shit
Keep your head up, if you escape hell we gettin fucked up
When we was eight, we went to Bat Day to see the Yanks
In Sixty-Nine, his father and mines, they robbed banks
He pointed to the charm on his neck
With his last bit of energy left, told me rock it with respect
I opened it, seen the God holdin his kids
Photogenic, tears just burst out my wig
Plus he dropped one, oh shit, here come his Old Earth
With no shoes on, screamin holdin her breasts with a gown on
She fell and then lightly touched his jaw, kissed him
Rubbed his hair, turned around the ambulance was there
Plus the blue coats, Officer Loc, took it as a joke
Weeks ago he strip-searched the God and gave him back his coke
Bitches yellin, Beenie Man swung on Helen
In the back of a cop car, dirty thoughts ya tellin
But suddenly a chill came through it was weird
Felt like my man, was cast out my heaven now he's here
Laid on the stretcher, blood on his Wally's like ketchup
Deep like the full assassination with a sketch of it
It can't be, from Yohoo to Lee's
Second grade humped the teachers, about to leave
Finally this closed chapter, comes to an end
He was announced, pronounced dead, y'all, at twelve ten"
that shit on Impossible was crazy...and I hadn't heard it in years but still reme,bered most of the words. The verse provided such a visual.
..........................................
On another note, my brother-in-law, Darnell, said that he doesn't like Common because he's too commercial. Huh??? Did I miss something here???
Holla back!

I am the enigma
The answer to the question, “What happens if you merge David and Goliath?”
I am not the biggest man
But the heart of Texas pumps through these veins
A lion that learned how to ride among men
This explains the way I endure an inhuman amount of pain and still maintain
My cool
My legacy
My name

Dominating wannabe doppelgangers on a dastardly descent
Arm strong
Legs stronger
Will unbreakable
Unmistakable yellow jersey at the front of the pack
Unshakeable
The only bike rider bad enough to maintain the lead from the back
I race at the pace of an upbeat jazz tempo
Giving competitors the blues
I’ve traveled miles in these shoes

Say what you want about the dude (Lance Armstrong), the man is raw. To ride thousands of miles a year and to still be dominating like he is? Incredible. I wrote the piece above thinking of a Nike Just Do It campaign. Imagine them showing clips from this tour while Lance says a stanza, and then the screen goes black with the words Just Do It and the nike logo on it. That would work for print ads too. Just find a nice still image and boom, there's your ad Nike. Pardon if this seems wierd, but this is a glimpse into how my mind works. I've heard songs from people and envisioned entire videos that would be banging, y'heard? Anyway, I'll holla when you do.
One!

It seems like the tighter I hold on to life
The more it slips through my fingers
So
I’m of the frame of mind to just let go
And no
This doesn’t mean you’ll find Lee life ebbing out of slit wrists
It just means that perhaps I need to let go of this
The things which don’t bring me happiness
But I’m more than comfortable with
The job
The clothes
The life
Randomized joy juxtaposed with strife
Just let go
And let God
Which although it may sound odd
Is kind of hard
In the sense that I want to be the one to open the door
But
That’s not my job
So
For the love of all the things that matter that I hold dear
I’m letting go
In hopes of catching on
To this thing
We call
Life

Picture This
10 am, my brother-in-law tells me to meet up with him to play ball
Gives me the directions
Roughly
Because I’m behind,
I tell him I’ll meet him up there when he calls back 20 minutes later
My brother and I arrive at the hot court, and watch as game point is decided
All six dudes, my brother-in-law included, are tired
It’s hot
And it’s only getting hotter
We finally get a game going
Fast forward
We win the game
Although it’s my first game, I’m out of shape
Hot and tired
I shoot the breeze with my brother-in-law and the other guys on the court
I call it a day,
Thinking my main concern is not over doing it just because my ego says I can still play
Picture my brother and me heading back to me crib
We just finished playing a three on three game in the blistering heat
Thirsty
Trying to keep cool in an automobile with no AC
Imagine us stopping past my fathers house, talking about Final Destination 1 & 2 on the way
Dad is not home
We renew our quest to my place
We are heading towards the home stretch when
BANG
Four door dodge car runs red light and collides with Xterra SUV
Car spins around and comes to a rest in a ditch
I ask if there is an accident because I don’t see the SUV
The SUV, according to eyewitnesses
Goes air born
Flips a couple of times and come to a rest on it’s side
“Oh shit, that car is smoking”
Imagine me franticly waiting for the light to turn green so I can safely cross the intersection
I place my truck in park and tell my brother to wait there.
Driver of car is frantic, exclaiming, “How could I have done this?”
He is being consoled by younger female passenger
I try to ascertain whether or not he is injured as I place the 911 call
The first call drops before I get an answer
I call back
Operator of 911 call picks up and asks me questions
Where, what color are the cars…
Another young lady is on a 911 call just feet from the young lady trapped in her SUV
Four black men are trying to calm her are saying to each other that she needs to get out of the truck
I ask them not to move her
They assure me they aren’t trying to, but she is bleeding badly
I get closer
See blood spatter on drivers side door as she struggles to get out
I don’t see that her arm is severed
Bone and ligaments exposed
Artery opened had been spraying her in the face with blood
Puddles of blood already saturating the ground beneath my feet unnoticed, pointed out later
One of the black men had already wisely created a tourniquet out of his shirt
She is trapped, and bleeding to death
EMU’s are on the way
Tracy, the young lady who made the other 911 call, asks if there is any family she should contact
The young lady conveys the number of her husband
I learn later that they are new to the area, and she is 26 or 27 years old
Traci passes information to the husband
Cars are starting to build up both ways
We need to get them out of the way to increase her chances of survival
For now,
The six or so black males who are there to help, including myself, are the police
Those not trying to restrain or directly aid her immediately become traffic police
Begin to turn cars away from the accident scene to allow an easy approach for Emergency personnel
Having to be verbally abused by a passenger of a car who could care less about the accident because she just needed to get down the road
Imagine at some point that I finally get to the driver of the car to ask his condition
He assures me he’s 100% okay, just that he has some tension in his temple
I tell him that he needs to tell EMT’s that once they arrive, because he doesn’t know how serious that may be
Police arrive first
Not too long after, ambulatory units arrive for two different directions
Imagine a helicopter landing in a nearby field not long after police and ambulatory units arrive
Lone camera man
Being told to move back
Fire hoses
Cutting the back of the truck off to pull her out through the back
One fireman goes in
Screams of agony
Carried into an ambulance
Trying to find which hospital she’ll be going to tell her husband
I find her pocket book 15- 20 feet from her vehicle
Tracy and I gather what we can an hand it to an EMT
Speculation
How her arm got so damaged
Whether or not she’ll be able to keep it
Perspective
Complete strangers took control of an emergency situation and created order
Called emergency vehicles within minutes of the incident and gave the pertinent info
Contacted family
10 years ago, cell phones on hand would have been doubtful
Spoke to EMT’s and Police to let them know the situation
A place for the helicopter to land was a mere 15 yards away, if that
Three of the dudes that helped big time were actually just going to find ice for drinks, as one of them was going to be renewing his vows later that day
And I could have played another game of basketball

It is wise to give an asshole space, just in case shit happens

Talking to much shit may cause halitosis

I don't believe holding the door and other acts of chivalry were devised to be "polite". I think letting the woman go first allowed the male counterpart the opportunity to stare at her ass without getting caught.

For one of the greatest gifts to Rhythm & Blues
One who taught me that a house is not a home without you
a superstar
helped lovers hold each other closer
the catalyst for late night love sessions
helped people forgive transgressions
transcended racial boundaries
the only one that could hold his own with Patti
I'll gladly deem you a deacon of love
hoping you find yours in the after
memories tied to every melody
i guess this is the time you can do another duet with Gregory
whenever we think of love and soul music
a way to get past or throughh our angst
we will remember your satin soulfulness, even more than your face
vocal tone and charismatic delivery would make the wind itself shivery
we will remember you
soul singer
legend
icon
catalyst for countless kids conceived while one of your records are playing in the bacjground
but most of all
we will remember you as
Luther
(Rest in Peace)