It Couldn’t Be...
Found this poem I wrote last August as I was looking for possible poems to spit at tonites illpoets.com feature @ Bohemian Caverns:
It Couldn’t Be
It couldn’t be Couldn’t be that you’re feeling me Impossible to think you get flies comprised of butter when you see me It couldn’t be Couldn’t be you getting nervous In a rush just to make sure we cross paths Giddy at the thought that perhaps we’ll share a couple of laughs Couldn’t be Couldn’t be you’re feeling me Couldn’t be that you get warm and wet in lower regions when you hear my voice on the answering service Couldn’t be That given the opportunity You would act out the lewd things we say when we’re aimlessly flirting Couldn’t be you’re wanting me to the point it’s physically hurting Couldn’t be Not you We are too cool You said you never catch feelings You vocalized on many occasions that we would never have dealings It couldn’t be We were just kicking it, all that time we spent So if that’s the case Why are you at my place at a quarter till three With your head laid in my lap so suggestively Caressing my knee seductively Am I trippin’? Naw...naw It couldn’t be
Filler
Please tell me why the MVA raised registration renewal from $103 to $180? That’s bananas, man. Loopy, even. And why don’t folks have more patience and let you know the proper steps? I went to the MVA yesterday to renew, but couldn’t because I never transferred the title to my name. Okay, my father and I have the same name, and I’ve been renewing all these years through the mail. The only reason I showed up in person was because they hadn’t cash my check that I sent like three weeks ago. So, after taking leave to even do this, I had to take off this morning, too, just to conclude the process. According to the MVA, you can’t register in person unless you hold the title. So, I at least think ahead and go online to download the proper documentation to transfer said title and have my pops sign the forms. However, because he didn’t sign the back of the actual title, I’ll have to go back to transfer the title at a later date. (sigh) Aside from that, I’ve seen Revenge of the Sith twice (took off of work to catch the 12 noon premier and saw it on Saturday) and enjoyed it both times. I picked up a few little things Lucas did the second time around to better cement the transition from Sith to Star Wars. I was also pulled over by a cop (on the way to see Sith for the second time) who obviously had a bad day. My heart was beating fast as hell, like any brotha pulled over by the whoa’s, wondering why he pulled me over at that juncture. Fortunately, I know how to talk and disarm a potentially problematic situation early. That, and my nephew and younger brother were in the back, so a lot of times cops won’t act as rowdy with witnesses or young witnesses, especially. Once I asked what the the problem was, son started yelling at me like he wanted to do something. Truthfully, I was speeding, and because unbeknownst to me, my rear blinkers weren’t working, I’m sure I could have been perceived to be driving recklessly even though I was signaling and my front blinkers worked fine. But, son didn’t need to come at me like that. I realized he was trying to rattle me, so I played it cool. He couldn’t really do anything because he didn’t have a speed reading. Only way a problem would arise is if I acted stupid, which ain’t me. Sides, it’s not like I could tell him I didn’t appreciate his tone and ask him to take it down a notch. Nope, not to PG County Police; that’s a paddlin’. He was really after my brother-in-law who was pushing his H2 much harder than I was whippin’ my Explorer anyway. He let me go begrudgingly with a warning, and I rolled out to catch the movie. It’s good he did pull me over, because who knows how long it would have taken me to figure out my blinkers didn’t work? Aight, nothing to really report, so I’ll stop through later...
Getting Touchy-Feely/ You Filthy McNasty!
Okay, of all the depraved, lewd and lascivious acts you could commit in the workplace: beating off is definitely up there on the list. Yet, some jerk off (pun intended), felt it necessary to try to take the a load off in the bathroom…while I’m in it. Let’s review: I’m in the bathroom, handling my proper business (hey, in order to put said jerk off out there, I have to put myself out there first). Said dude walks in to the bathroom and proceeds to what I imagine is the end stall. From there, I hear this repetitious noise, “Chk-chk-chk-…” and heavy breathing. Okay, I don’t know where ya’ll are from, but that’s a violation. Analysis: This ass must not have noticed I was in here. Dilemma: I don’t want to hear where this is eventually going to end up at all…but what if I’m just hearing this wrong? Litmus Test: (Loud Clearing of Throat, Courtesy of Lee) Result: Noise stops, jingling of pants, and quick b-line towards sink. Hands washed…like it matters….exit…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannd SCENE! No bullshit.
Crash!
Okay, I am going to spend this journal entry promoting the best movie I've seen in theatres in quite some time, Crash! Awesome movie. Won't give it away, but will say, it's something that everybody needs to see. An incredible cast: Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Larenz Tate, Lorretta Divine, Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton, Terrence Howard, Ryan Phillipe (who I still think would make an awesome Spider-Man), Ludacris, etc. Cast was really well assembled, and clicked really well. I don't know why Brenden Fraser's character was so limited, as he can actually act (School Ties), but whatever. Dope film. Go see it! PS- Happy birthday to my big sister Traci, as she gets one year wiser (I hope :o)), and even more beautiful.
Full Circle
The Baltimore DC Area has produced big talent over the years; Billie Holiday, Marvin Gaye, heck, Toni Braxton (and her sisters). I’ve maintained for some time that cats are going to respect DC once we have that one big hit that makes the industry stand up and take notice. Questionmark Asylum’s “Hey, Look Away” and subsequent remix didn’t do it. Neither did Nonchalent’s, “5 o’clock” song (with subsequent remix). From Tonya Blount to Adina Howard, heads haven’t been listening…the DC/ Baltimore indie scene is a veritable gold mine. Enter: Raheem DeVaugnn. Now, I ain’t about to ride this dudes coat tails or his jock, because that ain’t me, but I am man enough to give props when they are due. The first time I heard this dude sing (which was in Bohemian Caverns, 5, maybe 6 years ago), I knew he was going to be a star. Was even more convinced that he’d be the first one to "break out" and consequently bring the talent scouts here digging for anything they can package and sell to the public. Seeing this dudes video has confirmed my belief. They packaged him right on camera, and he has a hot lead off track to his debut. His second single is cool, too, so he should do alright on his debut. The formula is: two banging singles pretty much leads to platinum plus status. Thought it was truly dope that Dub and K’Alyn were in the video, looking and acting like Dub and K’Alyn. So what does this mean? Does this mean that Fertile Ground is going to get their much deserved respect internationally? I’m saying, who knows? But I’m rather interested to see the effects of what happens....rather, who will feel the effects if any. To check out just one of DC’s up and coming talents, check out the new video from Raheem, Guess Who Loves You More? *You’ll need Windows Media Player to view the video.
As if you cared...
I guess nobody wanted to win anything. I guess I am more 80's than you, huh? (sigh). Oh well, here are the answers to what I at least think was a pretty cool quiz. It was originally supposed to be like 5- 10 questions, but there were way too many cartoon references, so I tried to even it out a bit. Anyways, here are the answers:
1. What was Punky Brewster’s best friend’s name on the TV show? Cherry 2. In Transformers: The Movie, what was the name of Spike’s son? Daniel 3. What year did the Space Shuttle Challenger blow up? 1986 4. In chronological order, name the two individuals who held the position as leader of the Thundercats before Lion-O assumed the helm? Jaga and Panthro 5. What was He-Man’s relationship with She-Ra? Twin sister from another dimension 6. Name the four main character’s in the movie Beat Street. Kenny, Tracy, Ramo & Lee 7. Fill in the blank: Marshall Bravestar had strength of a bear and eyes of a hawk. 8. In the classic movie, The Dark Crystal, this group of individuals were the polar opposite of the Mystics, and destroyed all gelfling’s (or so they thought) in an attempt to assure their tyrannical reign. Skexies 9. What does the “B.A.” stand for in B. A. Barrachus from the show, The A-Team? Bad Attitude 10. Who was Heathcliff’s nemesis on the cartoon, Heathcliff? Alley Cat 11. Galaxy Records is to Universal Records, as Krush Groove is to Def Jam. 12. Who did Russell owe $5,000 to in Krush Groove? J.B. 13. Give me the name of the show with the father who created the android girl named Vicki and made her a part of the family. Small Wonder 14. What was Webster’s adopted father’s name? George Poppadopolis 15. Name Boss Hog’s two lackeys on the show ‘The Dukes of Hazard’. Roscoe P. Coltrain & Cletus 16. What year did Michael Jackson first perform the backslide a.k.a. the moonwalk? 1985 17. Where did he perform it? American Music Awards 18. Name five male character’s that were actually featured in the He-Man cartoon that don’t have the word “man” in their name (Battle Cat and Cringer don’t count). Prince Adam, Stratos, Triclops, Fistor, Trap Jaw, Skeletor, Orko 19. What was the name of the Saturday Morning P.S.A.’s on NBC featuring popular celebrities of that time period called? One to Grow On 20. Name the first three female operatives that worked for G.I. Joe. Scarlet, Lady Jane, & Cover Girl 21. Name the three main character’s in the movie Breakin’. Kelly, Ozone & Turbo 22. What 80’s cartoon did the Power Rangers utterly jack their concept from? Voltron 23. What was the name of the luck dragon in the movie, The Never Ending Story? Falcor 24. Name Spider-Man’s two amazing friends on his cartoon. Iceman and Firstar 25. What was the door man’s name on The Jefferson’s? Ralph
???
Is anyone going to even attempt the 4/27 quiz? (sigh) You guys are no fun at all, man.
Congrats Mama Dehejia!
Let's congratulate fellow illpoet Dehejia Maat on the birth of 8 pounds 4 ounce baby Nile, born April 26th at 6:46 am!
You May Be Ghetto If...
You May Be Ghetto If: Your car (or truck) hits a pothole and the radio station skips.
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