Here I sit
On a park bench
In the middle of an urban jungle next to Forrest
Collecting feathers and affixing them to sentiments that I guess only bear significance to me
Sampling randomized chocolates and theorizing which tastes most like your soul
Recounting how we have always been like peas and carrots
This
Is the scene
That landed on the cutting room floor
The scene where I flashback to me and her
Or
She and me
Have a chance to loosely juxtapose my life next to he and Jenny’s story
Because like Forrest and Jenny
We were seemingly like peas and carrots
Folks always thought we were so cute together
So did I for that matter
But we will leave that for the directorial commentary
This scene features me
Heartbroken sitting next to Forrest as he waits for the bus to take him roughly four blocks down the street
The screen transitions as we get the fuzzy borders indicative of a flashback scene
Fast forward the DVD to the part where she said I was merely half of what she has been to me
Take knife
Insert it in heart
Find melancholy music and press start
Perhaps being there when she decided to keep her stones and stand up to her father by simply forgiving him, wasn’t enough
My attendance at multiple plays on successive days wasn’t enough
Toast and tea when the cramps were too much
Wasn’t enough
Rubbing her feet before she even had to tell me they were hurting
Observing the minor body language to know when she was in pain
Erykah Badu’s live version of Next Lifetime
Wasn’t enough
How fitting that would be our song
Never quite seeing the irony until you were gone
At least until you decided to move on
Hoping other men will bring you the rush you’ve been looking for like on open window ledges that I allegedly couldn’t provide
Knowing that I’m not from any place the average joe has heard of
I’m simply Joe
I am a simple man, but I do know what love is
Love is looking forward to the weekend simply because you will be around to grace me with your presence in the morning
Mourning when you have to leave on Sunday’s like Red Riding Hood running off to Grandma’s
Looking for any reason to get you to stay
Yet on this day
There’s just you and me
Two well-acquainted strangers who thought they knew each other like their own reflection
Trying to convey what we thought was already understood by the other
But I never said anything hurtful
Never pointed the finger
Never used past situations to place blame and tilt the game in my favor
Just tried to get you to see how deeply you hurt me
And how nonchalant you were in doing so
I said I don’t think we can still be friends
You resigned to emotions and agreed I needed space to heal
Not realizing all I wanted was the space for us to start over
For you to act like an actress and fight for me
Or, more to the point
Us
To give an Oscar worthy performance with what little screen time we had and make me forget how much you scarred me before the scene ended
After the bald man leaves Forrest in utter disbelief and before the old black lady replaces me
Said I’m cutting back from everybody
And you accepted it
You said I was only there for you at best seventy five percent of the time
And never corrected it
Gave you free reign of my heart, yet never respected it
And all I want to do is go back
Back before my heart was assaulted with napalm-like notations of all the times I messed up
Before you repeatedly told me how my indiscretions were accepted, yet each one was clearly recollected to illustrate the non-existent similarities between now and then
It’s like trying to literally compare
Now…and then
So now,
Here I am like lieutenant Dan in the crow’s nest bearing into rain and wind
Almost defying God to change my life
Because the fact is
No matter how hurt I am right now
When all the wrong that was going on in my life
You were one of the few constants that was actually right
I simply want to go back to the dirt roads where our story began
I always thought we were like peas and carrots
Or maybe kool-aid and sugar
Water was optional because we were supposed to sustain each other
But I forgot,
You love soda
And to be honest
I like Cran-Apple Juice
But for the sake of this film
We’ll stick to peas and carrots
Only because that’s what Forrest says
And this is his story
Not ours
We didn’t make it past the cutting room floor
Maybe we’ll make it as a bonus scene
All I know is that I came back to tell him how our story ended
And he was fading in the distance
Running towards the same love we were running towards
Never realizing our feet weren’t moving
And because he was much too fast for me
What, with his touring the country and being hopped up on Dr. Pepper’s
All I could do was sit down and tell the next stranger about how we started
Back in school
When I sat down before I was given the invitation
Choose to remember the good things
And one by one, let all the feathers I’ve collected sail into the wind
And hope
That some day
You’ll let go of your feathers too