I know you guys haven't heard from me in a bit, but I've been on "vacation". In other words, I had leave to use or lose, so I chose to use it. Athough, quite honestly, I didn't get the rest I was looking for, I did get to see a great deal of family, which was a true blessing. This year was bitter and sweet, and I can't help but think that this particular year will be extremely good for me. Although, I also feel like there will be a good deal of pain, as well. From loss. Loss of friendship...I don't know...I just feel it. My mother's side is pretty candid for having intuition and premonitions. Most of the time, mine come in dreams...but I don't remember until it actually happens. I think the one vow I will make to myself is to put it on paper. Be it a poem, a short story, a drawing, a random thought. Catch it and put it on paper. Outside of that, I will have to be proactive about making my art work for me...i.e.- market the wonderful stuff I've put together better. Oh, I need to be around my family more, not just blood...my family, y'know. I feel more whole that way.
Anyways, I'm voluntarily siiting here by my lonesome this New Years Eve once again, as I choose to spend this time alone to reflect and to plan. Trying not tomake any "calls", if you catch my drift. Probably won't have to...Just need to think...to breathe a breath without wondering what the consequences, outcome or whatever will be. I need to be more spontaneous, too. I'm way too much of a homebody for someone my age...I need to get out there with my wares and mingle with folks, man. I don't know, just soliloquizing again...don't mind me.
Peace to all--
PS- God bless all involved with the Earthquake Crisis in Asia/ India.
One

So, I'm at the gas station last night, just minding my business...when this older (probably mid-forties) black dude walks up into the gas station ranting..."...yeah man, I need to get back to the halfway house." As said "older dude" walks past my vehicle, I hear him talking with another cat he seems to know. "Yeah man, I'm just tryin' to get back to the halfway house". A couple of minutes later, a random white chick is agitated by something he does, as I don't hear him "say" anything.
RWC- What the fuck are you doing, what is your problem?!
OBD- (Hock-too spits in defiance)
RWC- You can spit all you want, whatever, I'm better than you!
aaaaaand scene!
Wow, right...yeah, my sentiments exactly.
Tires screech as red BMW leaves BP filling station on 14th and Euclid, NW DC.
But wait, there's a scene two. RWC winds up catching a red light. Dude walks back behind my vehicle for purposes of continuing negative interaction.
RWC- (insert insults here)
OBD- Up your butt, bitch!
To which he simulates the act in a dancing fashion.
Further insults are thrown from both parties before she turns the corner and speeds off.
Older dude turns to me, as he is obviously offended, yet not too offended as to make this an opportunity to bum money off of me.
OBD- See, all I was trying to do is ask her for money so I could get back to the halfway house, and she got on her high horse of I'm better than you...did you hear that? All I'm trying to do is get back to the halfway house
ME- Yeah, I feel you. But you shouldn't have even responded. It wasn't even worth it.
OBD- Yeah I know, but I wasn't trying to bother her, I was just trying to get back to the halfway house. All I needed was $1.50 to catch the train. And you're my brother...
uncomfortable pause
Translation- You're my brother is the means that I'm obligated to help said OD despite unfavorable actions.
ME- (sigh) Let me see what I can do for you.
I walk to my truck, to which Old Dude followed me entirely to close. I ask Lynn if she has any loot, as I don't want to get stuck up while reaching for mine...indeed, I was prepared to punch old boy in his face and bounce. Lynn has me pass him two dollars after she further corrects his etiquette, or lack thereof.
The cat thanks Lynn profusely and asks us to pray for him, he then tells us his name is "Mickey"...as if God wouldn't already know. We pull off...laughing at the ridiculosity (what up, Drew) of said events.
Epilogue- Now, although I wanted to believe OBD and take his word, and was pretty sure he was a head or an alcoholic, or both. Just the fact the cat was nowhere near a train stop, kind of sealed the deal, but, I figured the two dollars was better than some dumb shit poppin' off.
PS- Had ol' girl popped off at the mouth on the south side, or further up 14th street, even...her ass would've been pulled out the car and..."reprimanded". Had he been in Georgetown, or towards Capitol Hill, his ass would've been "reprimanded" by DCPD. We obviously have a long way to go with social relations in this country.

Reserved the finest room for you at the inn
Tirelessly prepared your quarter for your arrival
Decorated it with deliberation
Lavished it in love
Arranged space for us to confer on matters of the heart
Made sure all the personalities had on their best face
Excellent PR went into this endeavor
Made sure no rumors of hauntings would scare away guests
You could search for skeletons and find none
Repainted the visage with an extra coat
Placed your name at the top of the manifest in the most exquisite handwriting
Placed a sign above the entrance that said "Welcome Home"
There's always a red carpet, but no one makes it flow like you
Waited intensely for your confirmation
No phone call
Said you'd be happy with an open invite
Haven't heard from you since
The staff grows restless
Feeling foolish for going out of my way with all these preparations
Other tenants feel neglected
Good people
Not suggesting that you're not good
Just don't think you realize how perfect this place was for you
No word from you on the Holidays
A time when you call those you care for
Take down the tapestries from the door
Set them aside for now
Lock them away in the room that's never been seen with all the rest that's beautiful
Greet the next guests
Business as usual

Man,
I haven't gotten any sleep really in the past couple of days. I'm sooo
damn tired, man. Yesterday was dope, had to be there to know what I
mean. Big ups to Mrs. McCloud for doing all that for us, sincerely
appreciated. We had a nice turnout last night, thanks to all who came
through. Thanks to all who supported as well.
I performed last night...well, whatever you want to call it. I
actually did okay with most of "(Wait) Till Morning", but I really felt
like I was going to fall out in that joint. Apparently, it wasn't that
obvious that I kept reaching for my head, as I was dizzy as hell at
points. In essence, I was most likely a bit dehydrated from being in
really hot and dry places all day. I was lifting boxes at my job, it
was unseasonably warm, so buildings aren't going to turn off the heat
for one warm day. I got through it, though. Folks seemed to really dig
the whole event, from open mic to the illpoets spittin'...although it
thinned out a bit as it got later. Whew...I'm tired as hell.
I need a vacation.

Say WORD!

Forgot to tell ya'll that I saw a cab the other day with fake spinners
on it. They looked like you just poke a hole in your hub caps and pop
'em on. Seriously though, is that going to increase your business as a
cab driver? Fam, honestly, I just need the cab to not pas me by because
I'm a young black male, and not try to raise the fair because I'm a
young black male. Especially when in DC, they have to post the fares in
the cab by zone for the passenger to see. My bad ya'll, cab drivers and
security guards, they're not my favorite lot in the world. Especially
those security guards who're mad because they're not "real" police
officer's. I mean, don't get mad because all you got is pepper spray
and a flash light. Okay, whatver...I'll holla.
1

I think I need to be able to look at the woman I love the way I look at
you
One filled with wonderment and awe
That instant and everlasting attraction I have to you
Though it is unrequited and undervalued
I need to feel that surge
The force that makes this poet forget how to use words
Only needing to commit actions
I could show you how much I'm in to you if you let me get into you
Trying to show the beauty of what we could be through you
See, I don't think you understand how beautiful you are in my minds eye
mid-orgasm
So being the artist, I'm trying to keep you there long enough to
capture you on canvas
Although I'd love to be your man, I know that I should never even start
with you
Because few women in this world could have the potential to break my
heart like you
As so few truly look so good to me and are still smart like you
Effortless in your beauty, such a work of art like you
I simply need to pursue you, to make the impossibilities of us a
reality
For you so easily weave these fantasies around me
Wanting to taste your waters until you drown me
You found me in the right moment at the wrong time
Making me feel things unfelt for such a long time
Simply put, you've got my imagination alive
Recounting when I first saw you
All the times you had me open something awful
Sorceress of lust
You are what dreams are made of
But do dreams come true
If so,
You'll kiss me on my lips
We'll do things that defy description to the point they can't be
written
And you'll fade in the haze of morning
We'll share that moment,
And look for it for the rest of our lives
If not,
I'll kiss your lips
We'll make a portrait of passion to be interpreted by scholars for
centuries to come
You'll fade away like the dream I know I had but couldn't remember long
enough to make reality
And every time I see you
Will be in a dream
Hoping against hope
I'll remember what we shared
By the time the dawn comes to steal you away

1. You start seeing commercials that tell you what a great gift a new Chia Pet would be.
          Personally, I think this is a wonderful way to tell somebody how little you care for them.
2. You start seeing clapper commercials.
          People must buy a decent amount of these during the Holiday's for them to advertise only during the Christmas holiday season.
3. Apparantly, one of the new things that they're pumping hardcore this year is getting "that special someone" a diamond ring.
          Guess what finger I'm holding up for those commercials?
4. Also, I've seen at least three different automobile companies with the not-so-original commercial where a person gets a frickin' car wrapped in a bow for...you guessed it, "that special someone". Not just any cars, I saw ones for Lexus, Mercedes Benz and Jaguar. One commercial even went so far as to have the car in their living room in front of the tree. Ummmm, how can you pull a fuckin' car into your house without your spouse being any the wiser. I'm going to be surprised how you got that puppy through the door, because you have to hear a car being pulled into your house, man. If not, oh, you're getting robbed on New Years fo' sho!
          A car? A car you typically but out of neccessity, not because it'd make an awesome stocking stuffer. The hell?! A car?! Oh, if I'm buying a car for Christmas, you better be getting me a really nice gift...and a whole lot of kinky shit for the next month! A car...mu'fucka please!
5. What's with the chocolate commercials that stress they're the official chocolate of Christmas? Wow, what does chocolate have to do with Jesus? Are you saying that Jesus endorses your chocolate?
          The holiday merchandising is getting way too out there for me. I'm sorry, but buy diamonds and Jaguars for Christmas, a little much. Just sayin'.