If you're wondering where I've been...I've been hella busy.  Trying to get this show up and off the ground, which is going to be HOT!  But anywho...I've been doing doing flyer designs, playbill layouts, ticket graphics, tech rehearsals, a lot of obsessing, and trying to wrap up this LP project to boot.  Whew!  The first show is tonite, featuring Psalmayene 24 and the Poem-Cess.  For those in the know, that lineup is bananas!  So, if you ain't going to be at the show, then you should be at Java Head Cafe or trying to check out the homegirl Courtney who's singing somehwhere in DC...I  can't recall right now...but BRU can probably remember and add his recollection to the comments section of this entry.  Either way, you're going to get a good show.  But, I say, what the hell, go to the show and then hit up one of the latter events if you're rally bout it!  Alright, I'm back on the grind, y'heard?
One!

So I’m sitting at my desk, and a higher up (which could be anybody because everybody is pretty much higher up than I) comes into my office (it’s really a cube) and asks me the strangest thing I’ve heard in my entire working career.  Essentially I’ve been asked to go to a porn site.  I’m laughing to myself as I type this, because I had to ask them repeatedly, “So, you want me to actually go to this site?”  Basically, some {insert ambiguous adjective here} has taken names of fellow coworkers and used them as keywords for search engines to latch onto.  You look for a coworker of mine, you may get porn.  Wow.  I have heard of this before, but never knew anybody that was a victim of this. 
So I have to go there and see what type of stuff is being done (with the keywords…pervs) and figure out a way to get this problem resolved.  The funny thing is, I don’t get many “visitor’s” in my office (cube), so I know what’s next.  I haven’t pulled up the site yet, but I just know somebody who’s not in the loop is going to come into my office (it really is a cube, ya’ll) during my “investigation” and think I’m the biggest pervert ever.  What a wonderful tidbit of info to add to my employment records, right?  Employee likes to surf porn sites during work hours.
 
Me (as if I’m doing the regular job routine) :  Oh…hey, how are you?
Coworker:  I’m…fine .  Ummm, what are you doing?
Me :  Oh nothing, just performing my job duties as assigned…that hand lotion on my desk has nothing to do with this.  Seriously.
 
Sigh.  God please don’t let me get fired over this…

WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t seen Spiderman 2 and plan to do so…
I was going to avoid writing this, but I couldn’t fight it anymore, so here goes: All the Things I Hated & Loved About Spiderman 2!
(*and when I say “all the things”, I just mean the stuff I had the time and patience to write up)

Hated: The fact Mary Jane’s eyes are still blue
Loved: They alluded more to Peter’s intelligence
Hated: That everybody and they mama saw behind the mask
Loved: They showed Spidey’s ingenuity when trying to avoid a crisis
Hated:He still doesn’t have webshooter’s; this takes away from the intelligence and drama of Spiderman. He made his own webshooter’s, and has to be creative when battling enemies and runs out of web fluid.
Loved:They actually showed how comical J Jonah Jamison is, and how compassionate Robbie is…just can’t see Radio Raheem as Robbie is all
Hated: They once again altered the origin of a classic marvel villain, namely Doc Ock.
Loved: Loved that if they were going to alter his origin, they did it in the way they did
Hated:they pushed the relationship between Peter and Mary Jane so fast. I heard there’s going to be as many as 6 installments, what’s the rush?! Ever heard of Gwen Stacy or Felicia “Black Cat” Hardy?!?!?!
Loved: They let Mary Jane refer to Peter as “Tiger”; that’s her “pet name” for Peter in case ya didn’t know.
Hated: They made Spidey so strong, not to mention his webbing. He can punch the shit out of Doc Ock and do next to nothing, yet hold up a big ass wall like he’s Samson? Huh?!
Loved: They gave the script a funnier edge to it.
Hated: There was virtually no reference to his Spider sense. With the exception of the cab through the window incident, they really let him get slapped…twice…hard, and they let him get trampled on campus. Oh wait, he did do that flip off of the mo-ped. That’s twice.
Loved: They showed how Spidey has to deal with every day BS like the rest of us. No other super hero deals with that quite like Spidey. Batman is filthy rich, Superman is…well…Superman (Shit, he even has a Fortress of Solitude if he wants to get away)…and the Justice League, X- men, Avengers, Teen Titans, and Fantastic Four either live in a huge mansion or in a even larger Tower in the middle of the city. Peter Parker has either lived at home with Aunt May, or in a loft apartment in Soho.

Other Notes:: Umm, what happened to Flash Thompson?; What was the point of them actually having John Jamison in the movie?; Was I the only one that fell out laughing when Peter said the line, “I’m in love with Mary Jane”? Four words: I’m Rick James, Bitch!; Why did Spidey keep falling on his head??? He's not going to survive 100 foot drops...on his head no less! Who's going to be the first Marvel movie to have another super hero cameo running through the background? Do you know how many super heroes live in New York? A lot...

More later…

Got this in an email at work today, so funny I figured I'd share.
...................................................

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that
you've forgotten?

_____________________________________

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.
_____________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.

So, I went to Bohemian last night and had a chance to see the always lovely Dehejia and my boy Bru. Besides the band, that was the only highlight while I was there. The crowd was dry until Bru clowned them for "being too cool to clap". Unfortunately, Bru was second on the open mic list...and I was number one. I hadn't even intended to do anything, just more so an opportunity to talk with Dehejia for more than ten minutes. I did my Marion Barry haiku, which always kills 'em, but seemed to fall on deaf ears that night. I also did this abstract joint that normally causes fervor and clamor once I explain it...no dice last night. Bru did this ill piece that I especially felt because it relates to writer's block, which I've been suffering from lately. Until you get to the end, you'd almost be lead to believe the joint was about a woman, which is what really sets the piece off for me. I joked that I would have written that piece if it weren't for my writer's block...I don't think the crowd got that either.
I did get some dope pictures of her for the show, which will be popping off at the end of July. After today, I'll officially be in panic mode until this show is over with...well actually shows, since it's a different show each night. But, I have some pretty good looking designs going for the promos and what not, so that eases tension a bit...but not really. I gotta fill seats on for different nights. The kicker is, the talent lineup is hot, but there's always that apprehension when it's your baby, y'know? Joint will be live though, so I hope to see all of ya'll there...
PS- If you're interested in one or more of the shows, click here for show details
PPS- Don't get me wrong, save for the management gestappo tactics that have been pulled on poets/ patrons in the past, I love nearly every aspect of Bohemian Caverns. That being said, Bohemian was still really low enrgy last night.
PPPS- Except for the band...the band rocked!!!!
(sigh)
PPPPS- Oh, and Dehejia and Bru rocked too, but that's a given, right?!