Okay, I should have blogged my experience in NY this past weekend, but I was too tired to give a worthy description/depiction of all that went on. So, I’ll just sum it all up by saying that the joint was fun. Definitely dug Brooklyn, as this was a better view of Brooklyn this time around. Brooklyn’s got soul, so I see why cats are so charged to rep it. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still MD for life, but I could definitely see myself moving to NY when monetary conditions are more favorable.
Heard something funny today… I’m responsible for designing covers for various publications, among other things at my job. Found out I may have to redesign a cover because, get this, some of the higher ups don’t like bright colors. Wow. I mean, the design will be the same, but the scheme of colors would be changed; that’s still pretty damn funny. Generally, bright colors catch the eye, and I’ve seen and/ or designed “brighter” covers for them in the past. Not mad, just amused by it all. Saw this picture that is screaming to be taken on Monday, so I’m going to try and catch it tomorrow after work. Hopefully Spring hasn’t changed things up that much, as it’s really wild to see…Anywho, not much really poppin’ off on my end… Excited I’ll actually have money this weekend, not much, but some got damnit. That’s always better than none. Ooh, ooh, ooh, Matrix 3 is dropping soon, and there are definitely some joints coming out like the original Star Wars trilogy in September! Other joints dropping in the next month or so are Kill Bill, In Living Color season I, Big Fish, blablahblah.
Can’t wait for that Kill Bill joint, that shit was raw! May have been Quentin Tarrentino’s best, especially since the joint was completely devoid of using the “N” word gratuitously, or at all.. Doesn’t bother me so much, but I definitely understand why it can upset some folks. I feel like, “dude, it’s a movie, lighten up!”
Anyways…more soon, promise!

I know I’ve been slippin…truly I do, but, I have been doing some proactive things, some of which will not be mentioned right now. The biggest thing that I’m gonna speak on is the re-design of illpoets.com. Something I feel is way past due, especially because the site had expanded so much since the last rebuild. In fact, the navigation of the site was kinda iffy because it had expanded past what the site was designed to do at that time. The rebuild process is going to be slow and tedious because I’m the only one doing it, and because I’m trying to design with the thought of how the site may expand in the future. Needless to say, I’m really excited to see how it’s starting off, as it looks very clean and well done. By far my most well thought out plan since I tend to do everything on the fly and not really draw things out that much.
The process this time around involved a lot more thought and planning, and the joint is gonna be right, ya’ll. I’m sure folks are gonna be hatin’ on this one even more than the last design. If all goes well, the joint could be up as early as May, maybe even sooner if I hit a really good groove. It took me a lot to get psyched up to do this, but, now that I’ve started, I’m going to see it through.
Aside from that, I’m making a commitment to get back in shape and start drawing again. Personally, I’m tired of nearly everything in my on-line portfolio on leethepoet.com; most of the material dates back to circa ’97- ’98. Dog, that’s almost seven years in some cases! I definitely need to get some material that better represents my abilities at this stage in my life. Just don’t know exactly where I’m trying to go with these talents right now. I’m almost scared to see how rusty my art skills are right about now…
The getting back in shape is a spill over from last year. For the first time ever, I had made the commitment to run on a regular basis (I hate running unless I’m doing something like playing ball or trying to escape a really big dog), and just when I started last year, we got ht with a 1 ½ months of straight rain. Seriously! I think we had maybe 2- 3 days tops during that period where it didn’t rain at all, and they weren’t consecutive either. So now, if I ran the length of a football field, I’d probably want to keel over because I’m carrying about 20 25 pounds of extra weight these days. Yup, your boy is about 205- 210 lbs right now. Actually, I don’t mind the weight, I even like it, but I need to learn how to carry it. It’s definitely not pretty right now. So, seeing as though a neat freak like myself doesn’t need to do any spring cleaning, I figure I’ll do some spring training. I’ll let you know how it goes…

First one to the 50 yard line and back wins!

And now it's time to play the game that I'm sure will be all the rage: What Were You Thinking...?

That's right, the game where I paraphrase a piece of an actual conversation and let you guess my real reaction to a question or comment that was made.

Game #2:

Co-worker: How are you...what did you do this weekend?
Me: Nothing really...I watched the Maryland game.
Co-worker: So did I...are you in any pools?
Me: Nah, I don't gamble.
Co-worker: (smiles at me)
Me: I know...I'm such a square, right?
Co-worker: How did I know that? Do you do anything...?
Me: (with a funny grin on my face) Wow, I had such a crass statement...
Co-worker: What?
Me: Na'h, that's not an "in-the-work place" type of answer. That's more of an "outside" answer.

Okay folks, this is where you guess: What Were You Thinking...?

If you guessed: "Not really, outside of fornication that is..." you were absolutely right!!! Actually, I had a bunch of crass statements, most of which I can't remember exactly how I thought it, so I figured I'd capture the spirit of the first little thought I had. Hay, what was I doing thinking that anyway...? Wow...I need a vacation.
You win nothing, but hey, you can at least brag to your friends that you your mind was in the gutter just like mine.

I was just walking from the grill downstairs, in broad daylight mind you, when this…young _____ lady who was walking towards me decided to stop dead in her tracks and make a giant circle around me as to not provoke “the dangerous black guy”. For a minute, after the sheer absurdity of it all registered completely, I was tempted to run up behind her simple ass and yell. “Booga- booga- booga!” just to see her freak out. Of course, then I would have been harassing her, and who knows what would have happened if/when DCPD showed up. (sigh) You know, it’d be nice if I didn’t have to put up with this shit, man. Seeing _____women look directly at me on a crowded train and clutch their purses like I’m going to rob them at any moment. I’m sure that…lady was thinking, “…two point for me, he didn’t even notice my subtle deviation…”.
Maybe I wouldn’t have thought too much about it this time around…maybe I would have been able to keep my thoughts on how nice the weather was…how it’s so sunny…I really don’t want to go back to work…if she didn’t look directly at me, stop dead in her tracks, and the walk around me like I had the plague. Even without my glasses on, I can see that a mile away. Y’know, for any person who does ignorant shit similar to this, said actions can actually provoke somebody to flip out on you. Not that I think anybody who reads this does this, but then again, I’m the only one here, right.
Hey, you could always do the famous “Shift my valuables to the opposite side and disarm him with a smile and optional hello” tactic. Not that I don’t see that either, but it’s more tolerable than all but running when you see a tall black guy walking in the same vicinity as you. The irony is, I’m not even intimidating looking in my opinion…I mean I was wearing glasses, khakis and a button up for crying out loud. (sigh) Racism is sooo old, ya’ll mufuckas really need to let that shit go.
But then again, she could very well have been a fellow OCD sufferer, and I may have been unwittingly “walking on her line”, which is definitely a faux pas. I mean, probably not, but I like to try to look for the silver lining in clouds, even if the clouds look like little turds…

Help me out here, what is the line of thinking when women get on the air and take their clothes off on national tv? Exactly how ignorant do you have to be to do some dumb shit like that? Seriously. Oh, and Maury's silly ass ain't much better with his, "Maury, can you help me find my baies daddy?" series. I saw this girl bring six dudes on national tv for dna testing to see which dude was her child's father. Guess what? None of them were the father. To add insult to injury,, shorty had been on there before for the same thing, except she had three dudes the first time. Nine dudes?! You filthy wildabeast you?! How the hell you don't even have a ball park guess of who your child's father is? Obviously the child's father wasn't too much of a concern when you were getting bed sores on your butt cheeks for lyinhg on your back so much...you...you...strumpet you! SHorty wasn't any more than 17, and she's doin' it like that ya'll? Then, she sent Maury a video saying she had another list of dudes...dumb ass.
Now, obviously, someone finds this entertaining...I find it remarkably sad. Like, this is the way you want to be on tv...the girl who had sex with more than nine guys in the just the timespan you were impregnated? Unless it's Oprah, you might as well get rid of everybody, man. I mean, unless AL Capone has another vault we don't know about...ha. That Geraldo, he was entertaining. Nooooo Geralllll-do, don't do this Al Capone thing live dooog, noooo. Nooooo Geralllll-do, don't run up and get your ass beat by the nazi asshole...not on live tv...nooooo. That Geraldo cat, if he was passionate about something, he was going to do it big. Ahhhh, the 80's.

So little to say...so many ways to say it. This writer's block is suffocating. I find it ironic that a lot of the subject matter in my poetry actually revolves around not being able to write. That's just down right blowing me right now. I think I'll take this as a note to go ahead and get over myself and start drawing again. After all, drawing was is my first love, and I've all but abandoned it due to some petty bitterness. Not saying I don't have a right to be bitter, but it's not like I'm hurting anybody but me by not drawing. Besides, it's my first love right...? What sense does it make to not draw, then? Yup, I guess I can start doodling again. I have to shake all the rust off now, which I'm sure will be frustrating, but damn, nearly all the work on this site is extremely dated. I don't think I have one piece from the last 18 months on this site...probably because there isn't any piece in that time frame.
So okay, I have to start drawing again...any of you legal young ladies want to pose for me...seriously. No, I'm just kidding...I think...sheesh, that's bad when you don't even know whether or not you're joking.

After talking with a co-worker a few moments ago, I came to the realization that cigarettes are legalized crack. So basically, cigarette smokers are pretty much legal crack addicts. So ya'll smokers need to watch out, you're on the brink and don't even know it. Peep the similarities:

1. Cigarettes are so potent, that someone will wake up from slumber @ 4:00 in the morning, and upon discovering that they smoked their last jack, walk to the 24 hour corner store in their house shoes and a robe just for a pack.
2. People fiend so much for cigarettes, they’ll be outside in the snow in 2° weather just to smoke during their lunch break. If you watch closely, they even do the crackhead shuffle to stave off the cold while they smoke.
3. A cigarette smoker will ask a complete stranger for a cigarette if s/he discovers that s/he’s fresh out.
4. At something like a store or a gas station, a cigarette fiend will try to buy you shit like 25¢ gum and batteries for a smoke.
5. At any locality, a crackhead will try to sell you shit like 25¢ gum and batteries for a smoke.
6. Cigarettes are wonderful for curbing an appetite.
7. If you're a crackhead, you do a lot of running n'shit to try to drum up money for crack.
8. Cigarette smoke makes you smell bad as hell and makes your breath smell like shit.
9. Crack will make you smell like shit, and if people were willing to get close enough to you, I'm sure your breath would smell bad as hell.
10.Crackheads and cigarette smokers are like pigeons, they hang in flocks and no respectable birds want to deal with them while they're congregated..

Ponder that for a moment..

And now it's time to play the game that I'm sure will be all the rage: What Were You Thinking...?

That's right, the game where I paraphrase a piece of an actual conversation and let you guess my real reaction to a question or comment that was made.

Game #1:

Co-worker: You shoould get a go to priceline.com and spend $100 on a plane ticket...and wherever it comes up, that's where you go.
Me: Mmmmmmmmmmm- that's okay.
Co-worker: What?
Me (loosely impersonating an airline pilot): ...and to your left passengers, war- torn Haiti...
Co-worker: Sometimes...you just have to do something dangerous to really enjoy life.
Me (with a funny grin on my face): You know...na'h never mind.
Co-worker: What?!
Me: Na'h, that's not an "in-the-work place" type of answer. That's more of an "outside" answer.

Okay folks, this is where you guess: What Were You Thinking...?

If you guessed: "Shit...being a black man is dnagerous enough for me." you were absolutely right!!!
You win nothing, but hey, you can at least brag to your friends that you may have E.S.P.

Dear Diary
I wish everything was Irie
Mind once filled with phat rhymes
And now they lookin’ wiry
Feels like the muse has left me with loads that be hefty
These bells got me dumb
Wanting to succumb
To the sound of nothing touching nothing
Cause despite my use of words even that becomes something
But I digress boo
I must confess blues to you in incandescent hues
Although 12’s a common size
No one can where my shoes
This situation’s Alannis
In other words ironic
The only time I write is regarding writer’s block
Which is like watching ships just sit at the dock
Hard place and a rock
You’ll find me in between
Looking through my view for anything to glean
Perhaps I’ll find it in the news
Nobodies seen my muse
Can’t form a search party because my rent is almost due
I haven’t any clues
Like plumb with the pipe
In the living room at night getting’ right
It’s like an unsolved mystery with a truncated history
Outside it’s warming up but inside it’s getting blistery
I guess misery loves company,
Or company loves misery
My muse is raping me, put out an APB
Even now thought are fadin
I can’t remember what I plotted
It’s like my hands ain’t fast enough to think it up and jot it
Oh she’s crafty like a Beastie Boys quote
Switched her location and left it on a sticky note
Used to be my private dancer
When I call her
She don’t answer
Hard to stay in contact because she never calls me back
But sometimes we connect when she calls me collect
She’ll fix me with a quicky
Never get that good sex
Can’t keep my brain wet
It’s dry from all the friction
From everyday hassles fuckin’ up my diction
Two-minute vision, then I bust
Trying to find stimulation in air molecules and particles of dust
From that whence we came
Ejaculation stains
from a perturbed poet
simply trying to maintain
so even though I wasn’t with you
I’m still glad I came
Cause this is the only way I know how to alleviate the pain…

Pet Peeve #92: A$$holes who absolutely have to cut you off in rush hour traffic, only to get right back over in the lane they were in. Pricks…all of you.

Hey folks, betcha thought I forgot about you, huh? Quite the contrary in fact; the matter at hand was I had so many little things to expound upon, but no one thing big enough to actually motivate me to log into my frickin journal. Did ya see the Oscar’s? Highlights for me were Robin Williams cursing on live TV “No, we ain’t doin’ that shit…oops, hey, 5 second delay!” Only Robin. That and Billy Crystal’s comment, “…the last time I hosted the Oscar’s we were under President Bush, gas prices were high, the economy was tanking and we were just finishing a war with Iraq…my how times have changed”.
See, that wasn’t enough to log in for, though.
Also wanted to tell you about this CD that is inspiring me to write some more “alternative” songs, Just Jack, this dope British cat who according to iTunes, is “unclassifiable”. So, I’ll say he’s trip- hoppish, with an alternative, yet old- school hip hop feel. I find it funny that he pronounces words like “through” and “thrills” like “frough” and “Frills”, but hey, it’s still a dope CD. Favorites are "Deep Frills (Thrills)", "Heartburn", "Lets Get Really Honest", "Paradise Lost & Found" and "Snapshot Memories".
I have officially abandoned the slam notion for now…not feeling it. I know, I know, I'm a flake...you'll get over it, though. Really, the coup de grace (izzat how you spell it?) was talking to Drew and Patrick, and Drew saying he wasn't going to go out this year, and Patrick being kinda undecided. If I were to slam for DC, I'd want at least one of them there with me, or at least the possibility, y'know?
....gotta go...I'll come back later, okay?
Cool.

PS- I'm aware of my homepage looking jacked up, but I can't fix it right now...I'll get to it soon.