Guess My Weight...
Please don't hate me for this entry, I didn't know it'd go in this direction when I started it, but it's freewriting in my journal so hey...
Ever been to an amusement park and seen the little station where some poor high school student has to guess a complete strangers age or weight within a predetermined range or have to give up some cheap stuff animal as a reward (try that for a run on sentence...but actually, I think that really is proper sentence structure; just awfully verbose)? Well yeah, I like to fork over my dollar or two simply because I know they'll never guess my age. I haven't been to any theme parks lately, but I may go for a funnel cake and that... Not for the stuffed animal per se, but more for the potential entertainment that may arise while I'm there. I still have this rinky-dink stuffed animal that sits on my bed from one of those games at six flags, and as I was making up my bed, I remembered an "incident" at one of these guessing game stations. Picture this, a black woman with unkempt hair that's built like an NFL linebacker...literally, walks up to some infortunate small framed girl and slaps her money on the table. After doing so, she agressively demnds that the girl properly identify her weight.
I've never seen somebody so freaked out yet so calm. Now this woman was just glaring at this chick as she stood there trying to create a number that wouldn't be too offensive, which may trigger an ass beating that nobody is going to try to stop. This shit was so funny, a crowd started to develop while the woman waited for her weight guesstimation. Finally the girls speaks up and quesilly says she thinks she's about 260. 260! Now that was her nice way of low bridging the actual weight and saving her life. The black woman yells out something to the effect of, "You might as well give me my stuffed animal now because you way off!" As she charged up to the scale and stepped on authorotatively, the needle on the giant scale went haywire and rocketed past 260...270...picked up more speed at 280...started climaxing at 290...slowedat 300..and came to a gentle rest around 315...give or take a few pounds. Poor girl, she did the right thing.
Now, for those (men) who (still) don't know, women can be very sensitive about their weight. You can use every adjective under the sun referring to a woman's size as long as it doesn't directly imply she's "fat". She can be husky, big-boned, thick, voluptuous, full figured, heavy set...chunky maybe, but never fat. Now, I may be getting myself into trouble, but one thing I am is painfully honest. If you're 5' 2" and 315 pounds..none of the aforementioned euphimisms apply to you. You're fat, and that's cool. People have such a complex about weight these days. As long as your healthy, don't trip. Some people are going to be big, no matter what they eat or don't eat, but if you have a healthy routine: cardio and exercise, you should be cool. In fact, it wasn't until the 20th century that thin women were popular. Yes, 1 hundred years ago you'd be trying to get Halle Berry to eat more, and Lisa Nicole Carson would have every acting role under the sun. Now, let me preface this by saying that I don't think Lisa Nicole Carson is fat...she's phat. But, by popular standards, not afroccentric standards, she could stand to lose weight. I just think the girl is "healthy", and personally, I like looking at her much like brothas back in the day liked looking at Pam Grier. Point is, if you're "over weight", at least be healthy and stop giving it other names. Half the world is over weight...so what... If you can't admit your flaws, you can never correct them. It just trips me out when a woman will call another woman who is smaller than her fat, and turn around and call herself thick. Okay, I went on a complete tangent and don't remember what the hell I was talking about... Has anybody been watching women's volleyball? Oh, and how bout the jamaican sprinters???
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