I just had my mid- year review about a half hour ago. I think it was pretty positive, but, my boss pretty much said I was socially retarded in a nice way. See, being the realist I am, I already knew that. I probably coulda shaved off a half an hour by saying that up front. My supervisor’s a sweetheart, man. I could tell she didn’t want to come off in a rude manner, but she had a couple of concerns regarding my communication skills. See, for those who know me, I’m very…outspoken and confident and blunt when I speak. In a work environment, that doesn’t necessarily come across well. See, I’m very nonchalant with my attitude, not because I’m arrogant, but more so because I’m anti- social. I’m a fool once you get to know me, or once I’m comfortable. But, if I’m in the work world, game face is on, baby! Add that to the fact I am blunt and sometimes don’t know how to say things, which you may find ironic because I’m a poet; think about that tho’…a poet writes things down. Shit if I could communicate through poetry at work, I’d be good. However, that ain’t the case, and I need to work on my social skills a bit more. This would be the first time I have had an issue regarding my professional image…wow, that’s not cool. But, it can be easily corrected. Whenever I’m made aware of something, I can generally adjust in an incredibly short amount of time. We’ll see…

I italicized the typos so you could see them Think it was only two, which is good for me. Sheesh...
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I have to be one of the most typo- having cats in the world, man. I don't understand it, I review my posts before I publish them (most of the time), yet I always just outright miss blatant typs. It's ridiculous. Funny thing is, I actually have spell check for my journal, but it picks up so much stuff that isn't typos, it's ridiculous. Ridiculous...hmmm, used it twice already in this post. Okay, that's now the new word of the day. Hey, on a completely dufferent lunched out note, I have my own version of "serenity now!" a la Sienfeld...it's "Hoo yeah!", a la K- Ci from Jodeci. Had a stressful day? Let out a "Hoo yeah!" in the elevator or walking down the steps. The sheer comedy of the moment is a tension and stress reliever for me, personally. But, whatever...
I wonder...how many typos will be in this entry...? Ah well, c'est la vie, or as I now like to say, "Hoo Yeah!"

I have to be one of the most typo- having cats in the world, man. I don't understand it, I review my posts before I publish them (most of the time), yet I always just outright miss blatant typs. It's ridiculous. Funny thing is, I actually have spell check for my journal, but it picks up so much stuff that isn't typos, it's ridiculous. Ridiculous...hmmm, used it twice already in this post. Okay, that's now the new word of the day. Hey, on a completely dufferent lunched out note, I have my own version of "serenity now!" a la Sienfeld...it's "Hoo yeah!", a la K- Ci from Jodeci. Had a stressful day? Let out a "Hoo yeah!" in the elevator or walking down the steps. The sheer comedy of the moment is a tension and stress reliever for me, personally. But, whatever...
I wonder...how many typos will be in this entry...? Ah well, c'est la vie, or as I now like to say, "Hoo Yeah!"

As some of you may know, I truly enjoy reinforcing my vocabulary and expanding it. To do so, I often travel to Webster's online dictionary and hit up the word of the day to keep me sharp. This particular word I wanted ya'll to see was used in one of my poems a while back, as I learned of it during my college years. However, I never heard of the word "doggerel"...definately going to have to use it in the future, though.
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poetaster • \POH-uh-tass-ter\ • noun
: an inferior poet

Example sentence:
"Germaine Greer, Chair Of Judges For The National Poetry Competition 2000, Invites Entries From Readers, But Be Warned: Poetasters Need Not Apply" (Headline, The [London] Independent, May 7, 2000)

Did you know?
In Latin, the suffix "-aster" indicates partial resemblance. In both Latin and English, that often translates to "second-rate," or maybe even "third-rate." Not surprisingly, "poetaster" often goes hand in hand with "doggerel," meaning "verse marked by triviality or inferiority." "Most of the people who send me thick sheaves of handwritten or word-processed doggerel," Ms. Greer tells us, in the Independent article we quote above, "appear never to have read any poetry, good or bad. . . . Every week poetasters, like literary flashers seeking to amaze and appal hapless passers-by with the sight of their grey flaccidities, send their effusions to people like me." Are there are other kinds of "-asters" out there? Yes indeed—we have criticasters, philosophasters, and politicasters, among others.

Thought this was interesting as well... Drew, you and For'nique would probably find this intriguing (if you didn't already know, that is).
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pidgin • \PIH-jun\ • noun
: a simplified speech used for communication between people with different languages

Example sentence:
Creole, which is now spoken in parts of southern Louisiana, originated as a pidgin spoken between French-speaking colonists and African slaves.

Did you know?
The history of "pidgin" begins about the early 19th century in the South China city of Guangzhou. Chinese merchants interacting with English speakers on the docks in this port sometimes pronounced the word "business" as "bigeon." By the century’s end, "bigeon" had degenerated into "pigeon" and finally "pidgin," which then appropriately became the descriptor of the unique communication necessitated when people who speak different languages meet. Pidgins generally consist of a small vocabulary (Chinese Pidgin English has only 700 words), but some have grown to become the native language of a group. Examples include Sea Island Creole spoken in South Carolina’s Sea Islands; Haitian Creole; and Louisiana Creole. The alteration of "bigeon" to "pigeon" also gave us "pigeon," meaning "an object of special concern" or "accepted business or interest."
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Okay, I had this pantoum I just wrote on the spot, but it's a bit freaky... I (sometimes) feel awkward doing that type of poetry, now. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll not post it. I'll probably spit it at Java Head the next time I go, but, no posting this time. Hmmm, Rae is the one who put me on to pantoum's officially...and although I've only done two, both had some seriously sexual undertones. Now that I think of it, the one's I heard her do are kinda similar in that regard...coincidence? Thinking of doing an erotic series just for the hell of it. Hey, I said I feel awkward (sometimes) writing like that...but I still do write them 'panty wetters' on occassion. I choose not to let that be the main type of poetry you hear from me, tho'. It's so many ways you can do a sex piece and not make it sound just like sex...or, do it subtly. So few seem to be able to do that, or maybe, so few are willing to do that. Either way, when you hear one from me, it's gotta be fly, just because! I will hit ya'll with some new stuff soon...
One.

Yo shouts out to my homegirl Nova and my boys Julian and OJ doin' it big in law school. Monica J. White, where you at?! Thanks to all of thhose with the love on the message/bored as of late.

Hooo yeah! ...sorry ya'll, Jodeci moment there.
Whatup peoples? Everybody doin' aight? Cool...cool. Well, sittin' here @ work...ji' tired, but oh well. Oh, this asshole drivin' a greyhound bus decided he wanted to endanger my life in the third street tunnel this mornin'. Peep: I'm drivin' into the tunnel, having just come off 395N. From the direction I was coming, there are two lanes, and there's another lane that drops into the tunnel from the other side of 395 which wuns paralell to the two lanes from the northbound side (the southbound side). So, I was in the left lane from my side, which then becomes the center lane once the southbound lane from 395 merges into the tunnel. Got it? Okay, wasn't the clearest, but here goes anyway. I drivin in the left lane that came off 395N into the tunnel. As asshole comes of 395S, he decides to just jump over into my lane, while I'm still in it. This wasn't some "cut Lee off" type of shit, this was asshole driving right next to me and coming over mad fast and mad hard with a big ass bus. Soooo, I beep my horn loudly, which would alert most drivers to their erroneous ways, but alas, asshole didn't even flinch. Had there been another car in the lane next to me, I would hav had no choice but to hit him (or her).
So, at the light, I holler at ole boy (which is very unlike me). This fucker tries to play it down like I'm mad for no reason. I think he was a bit nervous because I had on a wifebeater and my tatoo was visible. All he kept saying was, "We cool boss". I'm like, "Yo, you didn't see me in that lane back there?!" "We cool boss." "Naw man, you need to pay attention to what your doin', man...I was in that lane back there. You couldv'e caused an accident!" "We cool boss." "Naw man, you can kill somebody like that,man...pay attention to what you're doin!" "We cool boss."
Asshole.
This dude is like 45 years old, and I'm yellin' at him like he's a child. I think the only reason I didn't get too off the hook with it, was because there was this cutie in between us who looked a bit uneasy at me yellin' across two lanes of traffic. Shit, she probably thought I was about to handle that dude or somethin'. So, I kept it civil. It's funny how I'm about to blow up and snap on somebody, but something or someone does something to calm me down. Today it was shorty to my right in the white truck. Two weeks ago, when the cops pulled me over, it was Lynn tellin' me to calm down...that and I posted the joint on my journal from my cell phone. My journal normally calms me down...
Anyway, dude not only my life and his in the balance, but however many passengers were abord. Realistically, I woulda been the main one fucked up had I not slowed down while I was honking my horn, but you never know. Normally I'm pretty aware of the location of cars around me, but, I can't even tell you where any other cars were in those few moments. So, that coulda been a chain reaction. Thank God that it wasn't tho'...I thought that was wild, man.

Hmmmm…well, I think I need a vacation. Mainly because I haven’t had one since 2001, which wasn’t really a vacation. It was a summer break since I was a teacher, and, necessary to keep the sanity of the staff. Never make the mistake and think summer break is for the kids. Nope, it’s for the teaching staff. So they don’t snap and maiol you one of your rug rats in the mail for mouthing off on the hottest day of the year, which coincidentally, happened to be the same day the air conditioner broke…even tho’ it didn’t really condition any air. But anyways…I need a vacation. A “go somewhere other than the east coast” vacation. I haven’t had one of those in my adult life, which is hella sad, but true. I need to be immersed in a different culture for a bit…just get away from the DC mode of life. Too much city can be toxic, and I ain’t trying’ to catch any city ailments like…bullet- it is, or something like that. Has nothing to do with lifestyle, and everything to do with locale.
I say I need a vacation because I need to not be me for a while…All so I can appreciate being me even more when I return. Right now, I know I’m blessed, and I’m truly thankful for the many blessings I receive on the daily, but…I’m not enjoying life right now. Life seems like an exercise right now.
1. Get up
2. Stretch your ass to work
3. Hold it for 9 hours
4. Stretch back
5. Rest
6. Repeat

I don’t want life to feel like a chore. Soooo, I have to figure out what I need to be doing with my life, and start making adjustments. So…I need a vacation. So I can get away from something I really want to run to…my calling, whatever that may be.
…hard to hear God above the city life ruckus I’ve gown accustomed to.

Praying for change,
LTP

...that not only Roy Jones, Jr. has a CD, but Oscar De la Hoya and Tony Danza do as well?
...that LSG have a new LP out entitled LSG2?
...that Breakin' I & II are both available on DVD, now?
What...?
Really...?
You already knew that, huh?
...I see...
Very well, carry on then.
...
Well...?
What are you still doin' here 'smartypants- who knows- it- all' person? Scram! But, I mean scram in a nice way, not the don't come back scram...just the "how dare you know something I don't" scram your parents hit you with when you prove them wrong on something they thought they were informed about. Feel me? Knew you would..youre th greatest. See ya soon? Okay...it's a date. But just a platonic one...no funny stuff!

Ever have something consume you, but not in a good way? I mean, I have some really dope things going on in my life right now, and I know I'm blessed, but...there are some things that are starting to take shape that are really bothering me. So much so, I don't want to talk about it, cause talking about it makes it real, and making it real means I have to deal with it...dealing with it means possible alienation from some of those I love. Right is right, man...and there is some foul shit going down right now. So frustrated by this, yet I'm trying not to think about it...but, that's all I can think about.
....
I feel like leaving work right now and squandering a c- note on some music and DVD's and drowning myself in them. Music is some wonderful shit, man...Don't know if Third Eye Blind is the best choice of music right now, but it's helping to keep the edge off. I was sooooo agitated last night. Couldn't even muster the energy to go to Java last night...didn't want to feel obligated to put on a smile, y'know? Gran Turismo: A-Spec was about to have me break my PS2 last night...that's how much this is bothering me. But, seeing as tho' (for once), I can't elaborate on what 'this" actually is...I think I'll just cut this journal entry right here. (sigh)
Wow...just...wow.

Ho hum...
If it ain't one thing, it's another. First it was my journal acting up...now it's my entire site acting up, but my journal's good tho'. Hmph. Oh well, can't win for losin', right? Wait...what the hell does that mean? That's just as stupid as same difference. What an ignorent statement, yet, I still say it on rare occassion. Same difference? What, are we to quantitatively measure the differential circumstances of two unrelated events accurately by simply stating, "Same difference"?

Welcome to another installment of the new Leethepoet.com exclusive tangent series (insert dramatic dun dun dun dunnn sound here):
(In your best echoish sci- fi booming voice...) You May Be Ghetto If...
People...You May Be Ghetto If... : You collect your change in used 40 oz. bottles of Olde english.
(Applause and Laughter)
Thank you thank you thank you...please join us next week for another exciting and original installment of...
You May Be Ghetto If...

I don't know...that one felt kinda forced...what do you think? It felt like it came off a bit contrived. It doesn't feel like it flows. Damn...sounds like I'm talking about a design scheme in a post- modernistic victorian household.

Ah well, sooooo, what's up with you guys? Really? Noooo! And what did you do...? Stop...playing! Get out of here!

Have you ever heard conversations like this...? Wondering, ummmm...is it that deep? Hmmm...beginning to feel the onset of boredom. Come on 6:30, daddy needs a new pair of shoes and a cheap date! Okay...as you see, this semi- freewriting tangent is hazardous, and I will now cease and desist as boredom will have me making an utter bufoon of myself. Even more than usual...

Hey...does anybody...
Remember When: The Greatest American Hero was on TV?
That was my shit. Dude couldn't fly right, and he was always runnin' into shit. Wow...the 80's man.

Okay...I'm out.

Oh, hey...what's up, folks? Just added another group of links to my site... Remembered that I totally fuck with Samantha Raheem (who I haven;t heard from in ages), and I didn't have a link for her on my site. See, my list of links is way different than the list of links on illpoets.com. See, I may not paticularly dig your site or fuck with, but I'll still link your site for the sake of politics. Undastand, I have to keep in mind that there are more poets on the site than myself. However, on my site, I may really dig your site, and still not post it...not out of hate or spite, but just because my sites little batch of links won't make the world stop spinning. The links basically illustrate where I sometimes like to go in my spare time when I'm web surfin'. My likes, my site...
Anywho...check out Samantha, and web monkey if you're into html geek shit. Phong is a dope site, just like the way it looks, man. Oh, you can find some dope wallpapers for your desktop there, too. Aight...normally I link things that I refer too, but, I'm on lazy time right now. Lotta shit going on behind the curtain that has me feeling drained and stagnant. I'm cool, it's just...sometimes, being the nice guy I am, I don't speak on it when people are irking me. Whatever whatever, tho'. Not about to turn this into am agry rant, dog. I'll holla.
Amor, Paz y Alma

I felt ji' special trying to do this. I imagine I must've looked like an ass if my coworker were to have turned around while I was doing this.
.......................................................
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make
clockwise circles.

Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.
.......................................................

I think it's something going around...seems as if I'm not the only one who has been lacking in journal entries. Droopy @ Brokeballer.com has been lacking, Bassey @ Basseyworld.com has been lacking, and Patrick @ Poemcees.com has been lacking. So there, it isn't just me! I mean I have a really good reason for not posting, it's just I can't give it to you right now cause see, well, I lost it. But I do have one! Seriously! Anyways, here's some thoughts...

Okay, I figured I'd do an alternate version to You May Be Ghetto If... by providing some real, yet raw commentary on varying subjects. Still done with a comedic edge, although offenders put on blast may be in turn offended. I was thinking of calling it, "Ya Think?", or "Just Thinking Out Loud Here..." Haven't really decided yet. Maybe you guys can hit the message/bored and submit some thoughts after you read the first installment. I'm definitely thinking of doing a sub-title, something like, "Vocalizing What the Average Joe Thinks". Well, not just like that, that sounds kinda corny, but ya get the picture, right?

Fellas: If you, like me, keep receiving emails regarding penis enlargement pills, gadgets, and supplements...you are undoubtedly annoyed by this constant spamming of your email account. However, if you, unlike me, are getting them from your ex-girlfriend or (worse) your girlfriend, perhaps you need to take a hint. Then again, if it's your ex, she could just be bitter. More than one ex, you may have a problem, champ...

Ladies: We all agree that commercials at dinner time referencing vaginal freshness is kinda annoying, and unnecessary. But, if that's the case, then why are some females still smelling "unfresh" in the '03? Perhaps they're aired during dinner time to remind you that things that smell unfresh aren't eaten...they're thrown away and talked about...badly...sometimes profusely cursed at. "Whoa...that's the worst fuckin' smellin' piece of fuckin' fish I've ever fuckin' smelled in my entire fuckin' life!"

Hey, on another note, has anyone listened to my audioblog link??? If not, whenever you see an audioblog icon, that means I called in and did my journal entry over the phone. All you need is some speakers on your computer to hear it. Anyways, I'll holla at ya'll later.

...and the doctor said my nose would stop bleeding if I just kept my finger out of there. ~ Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons

Freddy Vs Jason...was a decent flick. Took a little too long for Freddy and Jason to actually fight, but, they definately did get their rumble on.
DC Police...still not a fan.
My certification test...failed it.
NTB (National Tire & Battery)...have no regard for your time. I waited for three hours just to get a brake evaluation done. rRidiculous.
Pirates of the Carribean...was a cool ass movie. Kinda long, but length really didn't matter, it was just that it was after one when I got out of the movie. A brotha was already tired prior to. Oh, Johhny Depp is the frickin' man, man. Dude is sorely underrated, and has been, in my opinion, for years.
Run N Shoot...I need not ever let eight months of rust build up before finally deciding to play basketball. I'm sore as hell right now.
Family Guy...awesome DVD collection. Cop it if you love crass hummor.
MTV's Who Got Game?...Is it me, or is that chick Sherrise sexy? She could get it, man.
Urban Energy...sorry as hell I missed it, but I had to bounce. I fully intended to come back, but the sleep monster got me. I heard it was off the hook, tho'. I gotta play this poetry tag, man...sounds fun.
For'Nique...sat down to listen to her CD, was truly diggin' it. I have this thing where I don't really want to hear CD's anymore from poetry artists, mainly because most of 'em are so low budget and poorly done. Can't figure how someone could short change their work like that, even if it is for money and exposure of said art. For'nique, I was diggin' it tho'...stay you. My fave is still "Not that deep". The vertically challenged piece was funny, but, you're funny, sooo...what does one expect?
Bru...don't have your number man...lost it. There were a couple of occassions when I wanted to call you about one thing or another, but didn't have your cell #.
Katina...still have a ways to go with my note pad, I been in a dry spell...but I'll knock it out soon enough.
Helena...still love ya, shorty. I actually can identify with your trials and tribulations, babe. You gotta be patient and let this thing work itself out. Don't fight it, just use your time to write, once things speed up, they won't slow down for a while.
Dana...haven't finished your book, but have gotten in to it. Dopeness. Funny how we can view things in similar manners when it comes to matters of the heart. Perhaps we should write a piece or two, what do you think?
Rae...stop frontin', ma. What's up with the collabo?
Breakups...don't just affect those in the relationship, but those the relationship affects, as well.
Cinnabon ™...you're not an official mall without one.
My absence on the poetry scene...I still love ya'll, but I'm really trying to balance some things in my personal life, so, I may be scarce on the scene for a while.
illpoets.com...as soon as I get settled, I'll start revamping it.
leethepoet.com...won't even think about revamping this joint until illpoets has ben tended to. "Sides, I think it looks pretty good now, so what are you really gettin' at?!
King magazine...I must get a subscription soon, way to many fly sistas have graced the pages of this magazine.
XXL...I generally don't read that joint, but do want to cop this month's XXL becaus e Flo Brown is in it. Shorty is a HU alumn and a flame spitter, fo' sho'. And she's sexy as shit. Oh yeah, we're cool, too...so that's why I really want the XXL for this month.
Nikki Teasley...That chick is raw with the pill. If you get a chance to watch an LA Sparks game, look for #42, her handles is ridiculous!
Indigo Blue...where are you?

audblog audio post

For those who have noticed my site occassionally lunches out and is unavailable from time to time, bare with me while I take measures to see what the hell is going on...

Stay Tuned.

Remember When: That's Incredible was on TV

My Grandfather's Theory on Tiger Woods: Okay, my grandfather theorizes that Tiger is losing on purpose. Sounds crazy? Check this- Anyone who wins a major tournament is obligated to come back and defend his/her title, which means less money. However, with a name like Tiger Woods, not to mention the talent and following he has, why not let yourself be number 2 or 3 in the world for a while and make more money when you're invited. To be invited means they pay you. Who wouldn't pay Tiger to be in their tournament?! Especially seeing as how ratings are highest when he plays and what not?

The reading with the kids went well yesterday. Dangelo and Erica were definitely the hyper jokers out of the bunch. It was cool seeing how they received the book. I think the book can get a lot of love if people check for it. This youngyin' named L.J. was a trip man, smart as hell. The two most well behaved ones were Angelique and Marcellus. Oh, the little lady by the name of Allysa (I believe) was mad funny...kids can be so honest. The story I went to co- read was based on the consequences of your actions. When asked before the story, "Who here behaves?", Allysa blurts out, "Not me...I'm bad sometimes." Not exactly how she said it, but that's pretty much the point. No cut cards...I hope she keeps that; also hope her parents don't try and take that from her.

Priceless Exchange at Yesterday's Reading:
Dr. Saunders (author)- Okay, we're going to have one more question.
Teacher- Erica, do you have a question?
Erica- No, I have something to say.
Teacher- You have a comment?
Erica- Yes.
Teacher- Okay, Erica is going to close out with a comment...she's the last one. (Looking at Erica...) Go ahead.
Erica- Because...if you go with a stranger...he could kill you.
Dr. Saunders- (pausing uncomfortably) Yes...you don't go with any strangers. You only go with people your mommy and daddy say you can go with...
Erica- 'Cause one time...I saw on TV...a man who had picked up a bunch of people and killed them.

Damn people...monitor what your kids watch!

Remember When: Soul Train used to come on Saturday morning or afternoon?
Remember When: The dude with the jherri curl and silver sequence outfit would always be on there breakin' and pop lockin' longer than anybody during the Soul Train Line?

Went downstairs yesterday, for they had a bunch of tables of food set up in my building. See, the owners of my building (The Cafritz Company), do things like have people come and set up shop in the lobby of the building to sell books all day. Yesterday, they had a barbecue of sorts. It wasn't a soul barbecue 'cause wasn't no hot sauce, heinekins or corona's, but...there was a grill and baked beans. So, we'll let 'em slide. Ya'll my folks, you know how we do. Potato salad, turkey burgers, hamburger, hot dogs, beef ribs, PORK ribs, baked beans, little hugs, Safeway select soda, hot sauce, y'know...
But anyway's... When I found out about it, I was actually coming in from a fire drill. Funny thing about that was, folks were chillin' during the drill. But, nobody was sure if it was a drill. I am not going to be in a high rise on some 9/11 shit where there's a fire. Hell naw! I grabbed my bag and bounced. Oh, consequently, I finally saw shorty that inspired my Little Mama piece, she's definitely a cutie. Might as well not even talk to her, my intentions at this point are anything but pure. Getting on another tangent, but fuggit, this my tangent series...so there!
Sooooooooooooooooo...Once the fire truck left, I rolled back inside through the lobby entrance...that's when I noticed the festivities being set up. I passed it by at first, not sure what it was for. Once I found out it was free, I of course promptly rolled the fuck back down there. Now, when I went upstairs, I saw the chicken being grilled, and it looked delicious (Wow, do brothas use the words "delicious" often?), but I ain't know if folks were chargin’ for the food on some "I'm a vendor, fuck you pay me!" What's up Drew?
So, when I went back downstairs, all I really wanted was the chicken...nobody knew where it was. I go outside for some, they won't serve it. "We serve the food inside sir". Speaking of which, Sir, call me mu'fu! So I go back inside, and wait at this table where I'm assured chicken will be delivered momentarily. Now, I had already waited in line, only to find I was too late for the current batch. Aight, I'll tide myself over with these tasty cookies I picked up while I wait. Wow, do brothas use the words "tasty" often, too? Some Latin cat, which I'll name Ramon (he looked like he could be a Ramon) drops a tray of pork where the chicken is supposed to be. I ask him what's up with the chicken, and he gets a little short with me, swearing up down that there's chicken on other tables, like I just wanted to wait for ten minutes at this table. Punk mu'fu...I explain I was told chicken was coming to this table, and he told me he would personally look out for me.
Fuck! Okay, more cookies while I wait...these joints are good as shit. Although, that last statement isn't really indicative or reflective of it. ANYWAYS...sheesh, too many thoughts...I see folks outside getting chicken like ten minutes later. SO I go out there, and who should I see...? Ramon! Dishin’ out chicken. When the dudes on the grill see me, they're all like, "No, see, they're starting to come out here". Fuck that, mu'fu Ramon said he was going to look out damnit, and he will or so help me...! I holla at Ramon and refresh his memory. He puts this burnt thing on my plate and I roll. Now, burnt ain't bad in a barbecue sense. See, some cats be on that rare, medium- rare shit... Fuck that! Burn my food, damnit. I want it done....well! I ain't for no tape worms, ecola, salmonella...none of that! Before I bounce, I get the free Ben & Jerries Chocolate Chunk in a cup and get a cone slapped on top.
One. I ain't fittin' to be lookin' like I need to be put on the corner eatin' no damn ice cream cone.
Two. I already saw one cat looking at me, and Homie don't play that shit!
The irony is, the chicken was cooked halfway. Burned on one side, and not too well done on the other. The cookies and ice cream wound up being my lunch after all.

Remember When: The lady with the jherri curl was always standing up on the Apollo, third or fourth row center?
That lady could change the tide at Apollo...She'd make cats cheer even if they were booing if she did her "Lawd have mercy!" hands- over- the- head church thing hard enough. Those that used to watch Apollo, even before Steve Harvey, will feel me on that one.

Welcome to another installment of the new Leethepoet.com exclusive tangent series (insert dramatic dun dun dun dunnn sound here):
(In your best echoish sci- fi booming voice...)You May Be Ghetto If...
People...You May Be Ghetto If... : You take the family to eat at the $10.99 “All You Can Eat” Buffet, and have everybody eat off of your plate.
(Applause and Laughter)
Thank you thank you thank you...please join us next week for another exciting and original installment of...
You May Be Ghetto If...

Whew! That's a lot of tangents...

~fin

Tomorrow- I will be readin' to the churrin (children) from the book I illustrated. I have been asked to tag along because of my ability to do different types of voices. Should be interesting... Forgive my light journal entries, but, I have a bunch of studying to do for this cert I'm going out for this Friday. Gotta get my tech geek on to pull this off, as I often over think and over rationalize multiple choice questions on tests...especially when I know the answer. Ever be like, "that's the logical answer, but that's too obvious...so it must be 'c'", only to find that you were indeed correct? Well, that's me. Can't afford to waste $150 on this test and not pass.
Eye Will Holla...eventually. }:o)

Went to apple.com today, and saw they had a tribute to Gregory Hines. That's dope...

Wow...just found out this morning that Gregory Hines died over the weekend. Wow.

Sorry for the low note before the journal entry, but, had to pay respects, y'dig? Anyways, how ya'll doin' out there in web land? Me? Oh, I'm alright. I watched like four movies straight on Saturday, which I loved. National Security sucked, tho'. Sharron, I'm clownin' when I holla at you, shorty. You said that joint was good...not at all, youngyin'. I gave you the benefit of the doubt cause you put me onto that Cedric the Entertainer's Starting Lineup joint, but you back at square one now. Besides that, Phone Booth was...okay. Definitely a wait to see joint. Glad that I waited on that one. Kiefer Sutherland had some cool ass lines in the movie, tho'. Hilarious. Paula Jai Parker was ji' funny too. Ya'll know I dig Paula...the muffins looked rather plush in that joint, man, but...I do concur with my brother- in- law, shorty's putting on weight in the midsection. Basic was cool, but there are some loopholes in the plot twists. But, whatever, you're not supposed to question flicks like that. Eventually, the loop holes often cover themselves up if you rationalize hard enough. Final Destination II was okay, but way too graphic for no reason. I think it's mad comical that death feels it has to create some McGuyver- ass setups just to kill somebody in that joint, tho'. It's almost like death had to justify itself. What, folks can't just die in their sleep???
Faked out on Urban Energy festivities because I didn't feel like turning into Elektro or the Shocker, for that matter. It was lightening something viscous outside as I was about to head there, and I don't play with lightening. That shit'll kill you. This weekend was really low- key, so I was happy. This weekend means I'll probably be doing errands and what- not. Gotta get my brakes looked at this weekend, and I plan on finally going out for a certification in a software application. I may even study a bit. Kinda want to go in cold with no expectations, that way, if I do fail (which I shouldn't), I'll have a good feel for the test when I retake it. Can't wait 'til Thursday because I'm off this Friday...yaaaaay!!! Probably use Friday to take care of a few things like, oil changes and what not.
Okay folks...I'll be back later.
Holla!

Hey ya'll. Remember that children's book I said I was illustrating waaaaaaay back? Well, it's been done for a minute, so if you have some children or know of some that would be interested in a really nice story, check "Andy & Mae" out. It's done by a black author, illustrated by a black artist (duh), however, it's for all children (no matter what color) and you can get it directly online here. There are some samples of the art on my site if you click here. It's print on demand, so only cop it if you're sure cause there are no refunds. Honestly, it's a very well written book, and the art is okay, too.
Holla!

Aunt Jackie, my big lil' cousin Antoine aka Tony, and LaQuis!!! Damn, all these Leo's!

Remember When: Mariah Carey & Cristina Aguilera were considered innocent?

Yeah, on the real tho', both of them would still get stuck...crass, I know. What...we're online...oh, Ahem!

What's up ya'll??? Back in the heezy fo sheezy. Doesn't feel as cool when ya type it does it? anyways, not muc to type, so I'll be out of here like a one night stand before sun up, y'dig? Just felt kinda bad I didn't hit up the good ole journal yesterday, which is wierd because I write in this journal stuff I don't mind folks knowin'. Me feelin' bad kinda says I'm conscious of the fact folks read my journal, therefore feeling obligated to writing in it on a normal basis.. Which, really isn't the case, more so I ...lost my train of thought. Hmmm, good ole' freewritin'. Can't wait for the weekend when I will probably be doin' a whole bunch of nothin', which is cool because I can watch movies all weekend and be good with that. Anywho, I'm about to get my grub on...
Eye Will Holla

PS- Oh, wanted to hit ya'll up with more humor from the grill.

Downstairs (@ the grill) I was looking at the selection of snacks, chips and chip-like treats, and noticed that Veggie Booty has some cousins...
From the folks who brought you Veggie Booty, the delicious (don't qoute me on that, I've never tried it) nutritious snack, Robert's Gourmet Foods brings you
Plundered Booty & Mermaid's Secret Booty.
Also, available at wierd ass grills and bodega's everywhere, Dirty Potato Chips...the all natural chip that's cooked in 100% peanut oil.

Where do they come up with this shit????

Remember When: Larry Fishburne got shot up in Apocalypse Now?
Remember When: Larry Fishburne was the jheri curl havin' mailman on Pee Wee's Playhouse?
Remember When: Larry Fishburne played in somewhat insignificant roles like King of New York?
Remember When: Larry Fishburne was the lead in Spike Lee's School Daze? I'm sayin', I keep forgettin' that, man.
Remember When: Larry Fishburne started getting dope roles like Deep Cover and Boyz in the Hood, but still wasn't really getting any love?
Remember When: Larry Fishburne rocked Hollywood by bringin' Ike Turner to life in What's Love Got to Do With It?
Remember When: Larry Fishburne changed his name to Laurence Fishburne after doing Othello?

Okay, I really was laughin on the flashback to the goofy cowboy mailman role he had, and I started thinking of all the different roles this cat had over the past 28 years of his career... And yes, he has been around that long (Cornbread, Earl & Me {1975}; Apocalypse Now {1979}).

R.I.P Donya G. Peterson And Ghashiya Lucus
Love & Miss ya babe

(For Rebecca Bishop- Hall)
Welcome to another installment of the new Leethepoet.com exclusive tangent series (insert dramatic dun dun dun dunnn sound here):
(In your best echoish sci- fi booming voice...)You May Be Ghetto If...
People...You May Be Ghetto If... : At a restaurant, you order some scrimps (shrimp) and monsterella (mozzarella) sticks, then get mad at the waitress because she doesn't speak English.
(Applause and Laughter)
Thank you thank you thank you...please join us next week for another exciting and original installment of...
You May Be Ghetto If...
...On the real, I actually saw this first-hand.

Yo,
My weekend was ass backwards in the most bassakwards way. I spent that $150 on frion, and three hours later my truck was blowing out hot air. Great, cause I really need o be throwing money away at this point in my life. Saturday, I was supposed to help my boy pack his moving van up @ 9am, go to my God daughters birthday party @ 2, go to Lynn's cousin's party (from 2 - whenever), and then hit up Urban Energy to support my boy Femi aka The Dri Fish in his Urban Energy feature. Well, Uhaul messed up my boy's reservation, so we wound up heading to Gaithersburg @ 11 to get a truck. Now, by the time we finished getting the reservation and all that straight, it was 12:30. Ridiculous. So, I had to start preparing for my God daughters party once I got back to DC. I get the bright idea to say Lynn should get her radio checked out. She calls the place and the guy says he can do it in 30 minutes... Cool! Most places will tell you they can't do it, or they'll give you a three hour or more timeframe when you call in on a Saturday in the afternoon. So, I go with her to the spot, following her just in case we wind up having to leave the car. 30 minutes of course turned into like 2 1/2 hours. Heading out hella late to the first party, but can't get my God daughters mother on her cell phone.
Sidebar Tangent: Why have a cell phone if you never pick it up or at least return the phone call you get on it?!
Doesn't matter though, halfway there, Lynn's battery starts to die, so we have to turn around. Obviously killing the possibility of getting to the party, we try to see if Lynn's cousin's party is still crackin. If it was, I told Lynn I'd drive her there. Nope, the street getting into the joint had been blocked off, so you had to park outside and walk in. But, the word was that you couldn't even walk up anymore, as one of her other cousin's had already tried and failed. Consequently, we found out on Sunday that they eventually opened everything back up, and there was parking out the ass for the joint.
However, we did at least make it to Urban Energy for perhaps one of the dopest features I've ever seen. Matta fact, there's no "perhaps", it was one of the dopest featues I've ever seen. I'm glad he rocked it like that, now cats have to go back to the lab. I'll be seeing about placing some of the footage on illpoets.com before the end of the month. Aight, I'll holla back soon...

Okay, I went to Adjuducation in DC and actually beat a parking ticket on a count of defective ticket being written. Because ya'll my folk, I want ya'll to peep game. Dig:
I beat my traffic ticket because it didn't state where the infraction took place. In other words, if you get a parking ticket, the officer has to state if it was on the north side, or south side, etc. This is because there may be a sign on one side of the street where you got a ticket, but not the other. Also, I learned that the owner's box has to be checked. In other words, if you have a ticket on the windshield, that box has to be checked which means it's the owner's responsibility to pay the ticket and/or deal with the repercussions. Not doing so means the officer would have had to write the offender name in the box and hand the motorist the ticket. It kinda means, "Okay, the cat wasn't here, so whoever owns this jont is gon' have to pay this." Lastly, check and make sure the lic. info is right, along with the make of your car. If this ticket is innaccurate in one of these fields, you can probably beat it. Why, it's like saying, I saw this guy rob that lady and you should arrest him, but not knowing if he's black or white. That lic. plate number and make means they were talking about you specifically. I didn't see it (because the officer's handwriting suck), but he took my lic. plate down wrong. Now, I was in the wrong, but don't correct me incorrectly and expect me to adhere.
Other than that, I did my vehicle emissions test for my truck, a mandatory two year event in which I passed. Also got my AC in the truck going with a shot of frion gas. Dude, these people are shiesters! You used to be able to do it yourself, but now it's required that somebody do it for you that has a license. You can't even get it without a license (buy the cannister of gas, that is). It cost me $50 for every pound of gas I got! I was empty so I had to get 3 pounds of gas!!! If it was anybody but my mechanic, I'd have been super pissed. But, my mechanic is a straight up good dude, so I know he wasn't tryin to get me.
Well, feel good; Beat a ticket and only had to be there for 45 minutes. And, I didn't get a ticket while I went to fight the ticket I had. Ya'll know that's a trap they have, right? That's where they give out $100 tickets to unsuspecting violator's, man. Ten signs for one parking space, and you don't know what applys. But, they always seem to. I was on a broken meter. Those things are like gold mines, but I seen it go both ways when it comes to fightin' tickets over 'em, tho'. Mostly they get thrown out from what I've seen. Emmissions test was no line! Dude, I slept for like four hours in th basement...sweet. I thought I'd have to run around all day, but things were taken care of quickly.
Great day off so far...