Now I know people tend to not give wrestler’s any credit for the shit they do for the sake of entertainment; my brother- in- law is one of them. I mean, we all know that the who wins and who loses is predetermined, so in that regard, wrestling is indeed…fake. However, please do not confuse the story line fool you into thinking this stuff ain’t real. Men have died doing this stuff, been crippled and maimed, and that is quite real. Honestly, it's a male soap opera, and the only way you can get the male populous to rally around a soap opera is to have violence and sex. I say all this to warm up to the fact I was watching wrestling last night, where in the main event, I saw one of the most vicious submissions ever. Let me set the stage:
The challenger was Cris Benoit, a short 220 pound stocky cat nicknamed “the rabid wolverine” because he’s fucking relentless. In terms of taking punishment, he’s bar nun one of the best in the business. Son broke his neck a couple of years back (yes, you can break your neck and not die or be paralyzed), and came back harder than ever. The champion, is this young dude named Brock Lesner. Son, is an animal, man. This cat is 300 pounds, and has picked up 500+ pound men on his shoulders for his finishing move.
Already, Cris is outmatched in height and size, since Brock is like 6’4 and Cris is maybe 5’8. Before ya’ll be like, “boo- hoo for Cris”, he’s mad strong, and yes it’s his job to wrestle…for better or for worse. Fast forward to the end of the match. Brock Lesner, who earlier in the match, lifted Cris over his head like a feather and threw him like five feet…cracks a steel chair across Cris’ knee. Then, he puts him in the submission maneuver. Man, it was bad when it started, but it just kept getting worse… To the point where I was wincing in pain. The joint started when Brock grabbed Cris’ leg and wrapped it around his neck, which basically tears at your knee. Then, Brock started to sit on the dude. Now, in wrestling, to break a submission you either escape or tap out, thus forfeiting the match. The way Brock locked in the submission, there was no realistic way for Cris to escape. However, dunn didn’t tap out. In fact, he was in so much pain, he blacked out in the middle of the ring, while Brock maintained the submission for like 15- 20 more seconds. Imagine a 300 pound man doing this to you, and sitting on you, too.
Earlier in the show, Rikishi (the Rock’s 350 cousin) accidentally dropped all his weight on somebody’s forehead instead of his chest. My question is, when does that shit stop being entertaining. The way Cris got bent up, it wasn’t entertaining. To think some little kid is going to try that on his little sister, is not entertaining. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the wrestler’s for what they do, but, I think the envelope gets pushed too far sometimes. Hell in a Cell ’98, for example, was a legendary match, but it went too far. Seeing a man get thrown off a twenty foot cage, then though the same twenty foot cage 10 minutes later, is too far, dog. It is entertaining, but stuff like that shouldn’t be. I don’t know…that match bothered me a bit last night, because that cat was willing to risk walking for the sake of entertainment. I don’t know…just talking…don’t mind me…
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