Okay, why is there always one malodorous coworker @ the job?! I mean, what phenomenon does this fall under? Is there some funky person quota that absolutely must be filled by all major government buildings and corporations? Ya’ll, there’s this dude in my building, on my floor, a few cubes away that has the mutant ability to cover the floor with his funky pheromones. It’s quite uncanny, so much so, he should be a charter member of the X- Men. I mean, I thought I was imagining things at first, that I was just getting a phantom funk seeing as though my senses (except my eyes) are pretty keen. But this shit is just awful! I knew I wasn’t the only one who noticed when I saw a co- worker come around the corner with his nose already covered. Another co- worker confirmed my theory today when I asked where the funk was coming from in the hallway. Irritated, my co- worker gestured towards Stinky’s cubicle…
And wouldn’t you know he’s the “office guy” type, you know, the type that feels obligated to speak to everyone? He seems alright as a person, although I saw him act an ass towards somebody because he thought that person was “arrogant”; funny thing was slim he was being rude to was being cordial. Whatever, that wasn’t my business, I just happened to witness the event. Just noticed that he can indeed have a funky attitude as well. Most of the time it’s like an unpowdered stinky diaper smell, but today the funk has stretched down the hall. It’s like an url smell, accentuated by the typical funk of feces. Truly, one individual should not be so offensive to the olfactory, man.. What the hell?! How does a grown man consistently come to work smellin’ like ass??? You would think that after 9- 10 years old, one would be acclimated to the whole bathing thing.

PS- Now that I think of it, dude is the same guy who I caught pickin’ his ass in the hallway last week (my April 16th, 2003).